34 Things For Anyone Who's Basically Common Law Married To Their Laptop
"Happy anniversary, laptop. Have a portable dual monitor and some keyboard cleaning gel to celebrate."
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1. A keyboard cleaning gel, because if you're anything like me, your laptop is *also* working overtime both as a keyboard and as a lunch tray ("Alexa, how do you get Cheez-It crumbs out of a laptop fan???).
2. A desktop ~aesthetic~ download, complete with nine high resolution wallpapers and 12 uniquely colored folders and alphabet letters, 20 hand drawn folder covers, and an easy installation guide. If you're going to stare at a screen for 12 hours a day, you might as well enjoy the view!!
3. A colorful, easy-to-install LED strip to backlight your monitor or your desk and give it the vaguely intergalactic ambiance it deserves. Bonus? This can offset eye strain by reducing the contrast between the screen and a dark room.
4. A zippered sleeve that'll help tame the veritable jungle of wires underfoot from your computer setup.
5. A dual-sided device cleaner with two sides — one with an antimicrobial-treated cleaning solution to clear off the grime off your computer screen, and another with a soft polishing buffer to make it gleam.
6. A webcam cover for anyone whose personal motto is "juuuuuust in case" (as fun as it would be to accidentally invite all your coworkers to watch you slouching over a ham sandwich on a group Zoom).
7. A roll-on migraine stick made with peppermint, spearmint, and lavender oils to help you soothe away that vague headache you sometimes get from sitting in front of a monitor too long (Big Work-From-Home Mood, y'all).
8. A pair of compression gloves designed to help alleviate pain from carpal tunnel and arthritis, so you can type at your keyboard without an internal monologue of "ow OW ow owwwww" for the majority of your day.
9. A set of affordable, highly popular (seriously, these have over 80,000 popular reviews) wireless Bluetooth earbuds to easily pair with your computer, letting you quietly listen to music or tune into Zoom calls *without* your ears feeling like they've been beaten up. These come equipped with several sizes of earbuds so you can get your perfect, painless fit.
10. A memory foam seat cushion for your tushy so effective at relieving pressure from your tailbone that you'll finally stop losing sleep over your love-hate relationship with your computer chair.
11. Plus memory foam armrest pads, because you shouldn't have to deal with elbow bruises every time you lean back from the screen during a Zoom call just because your chair is being rude.
12. A portable dual monitor for your laptop to give your screen thaaaaat much more space to breathe — a real perk now that your home office situation might change from room to room depending on what everyone else in the house needs on any given day.
13. A pain-relieving compression eye mask developed specifically to target pain from migraines, tension headaches, and eyestrain, which computers — bless their hearts — are infamous for causing.
14. A set of light-dimming stickers to restore some calm to your lil' nest of computer wires, especially when you're working on your already super bright monitor late at night.
15. A six-outlet wall charger designed specifically for larger chargers that also comes equipped with two USB fast-charging ports *and* a night-light, so your computer setup is as organized as possible.
16. A ventilated laptop stand you can prop on a table or a desk to make it more WFH-friendly. This makes your laptop screen eye-level to reduce neck and shoulder strain, and gives your laptop fan space to breathe so it doesn't overheat.
17. A pack of NeuroGum made with a blend of caffeine and nootropics, designed to give you energy five times faster than regular coffee — without jitters or sluggishness afterward. That 3 p.m. WFH slump at your computer when you suddenly have the attention span of a goldfish just met its match.
18. A low-impact under-the-desk elliptical for anyone who gets distracted by aches and pains from sitting in one position too long — this can help keep you loose.
19. Or a compact, TikTok-famous rolling desk bike pretty much guaranteed to keep even the most restless among us on task. Sorry @ your actual desk.
20. Or!!!! A universal laptop treadmill desk attachment so you can power walk through the embarrassment of a text from your mom popping up while you were screensharing to half your coworkers.
21. A corgi memo board you can stick to the side of your laptop so your new furry friend can be like, "Hey! Update that PowerPoint before noon, woof!" And you'll be like, "Aww, yeah, buddy. I should!!"
22. An adjustable ergonomic kneeling chair that may be the unexpected solution to your WFH backache woes — this angled seat helps better align your spine and evenly distribute your weight, sort of like a standing desk without actually having to stand.
23. A set of blue-light-blocking glasses ideal for anyone whose new itinerary is "personal computer, work computer, personal computer" — these protect your eyes from the type of of light in screens that can mess with your sleep cycles and strain your eyes.
24. An adjustable rolling desk for anyone whose commitment to couch-desk is long-term — this is height-adjustable and has rolling wheels, so truly any comfortable chair in the house is now your computer's domain.
25. A waterproof, stain-resistant faux marble granite adhesive you can use on an old desk to magic it into a sleeker, brand-new version, so you'll actually look forward to gracing your laptop with it every day.
26. A hanging window desk that lets you basically turn any window in your life into a temporary standing desk — now not only will you get a chance to stretch your legs, but you can enjoy your view to the fullest (read: wave profusely at any dogs who happen to be walking by).
27. A memory foam gel pad for your wrists to relieve some of the cramping and wrist pain that comes with holding your hands over your keyboard the whole livelong day.
28. A set of desk-themed heat therapy rice pads designed to target all the spots being at your computer for long stretches hits the hardest, from your neck all the way down to your littlest toe.
29. A chic coffee cup with a strong screw-top lid, because if you need caffeine to support your "all screens all day" lifestyle, the extremely last thing you need is coffee all over your laptop keys whenever you accidentally knock your cup over. This is basically the cutest insurance against that you can get.
30. Plus a tiny (and adorable!!) cactus humidifier that operates on a USB cable, so you can keep the air in your designated computer space cozy and hydrating while you conquer the 57 tabs open on your monitor one by one.
31. A super soft, height-adjustable velvet swivel desk chair to add a touch of vintage sophistication to your otherwise modern computer setup. (Also, desk chairs that spin > all desk chairs ever.)
32. A 42-page Rocketbook Fusion reusable notebook perfect for anyone who prefers to take notes by hand and review by computer. This works the same way all their products do — you can write on its pages the way you would a regular notebook, upload the page directly to your computer for safekeeping, and wipe the notebook clean with water to use all over again.
33. A selfie ring light for all your Zoom presentations, so you can trick your coworkers into thinking you live inside a beautifully-lit Instagram apartment instead of a snack dungeon.
34. A thin, waterproof desk pad you can use as a mouse pad, a writing surface, or just a chic way to tie the chaos of your computer desk together.
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