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1. A jar of internet-beloved The Pink Stuff, which will truly does a number on everything from dirty stove tops to grimy sinks to caked-over ovens. A lot of people compare it to the Magic Eraser in paste form, so even your weirdest, most stubborn stains will meet their match.
2. An earwax removal kit, so you don't have to wait until your yearly physical for your doctor to be like "um WHOA" and fix it for you. This is quicker, easier, and will be a huge relief for those of us waxy individuals who sometimes wake up in the morning with an ear so fully clogged-up that it feels like you're underwater.
3. A bunch of Miracle-Gro "food spikes" that can bring plants as sad as the tree from A Charlie Brown Christmas back from the brink of death, and then will continuously feed them for 30 to 60 days as a bonus.
4. A set of heavy duty wipes that are most definitely not here to play — they're basically the paper towel version of The Rock, and can lift up stains on anything from grease to permanent marker to nail polish. Bonus: they're tough on stains, but the aloe vera in them makes them super gentle on skin!
5. A cold brew coffee maker to save you *eons* of time and money getting your usual store-bought option. All you have to do is add coffee to the airtight brewer, add your water to the coffee maker, and pop it in the fridge overnight. BOOM, caffeine city.
6. A set of itty bitty dermaplaning razors you can use to take care of those lil' hairs that keep dodging your tweezers or work whatever face fuzzies you might want to take care of in a gentle way — an especially handy tool when many of us can't head to a salon like we normally would.
7. A set of brush-and-flush toilet tabs made with baking soda that'll fizz up in your toilet for 10 minutes and make it super easy for you to brush away the gunk.
8. Plus a Scrubbing Bubbles toilet cleaning stamp because honestly? Cleaning the toilet every week is a scam. Let this do the job for you.
9. An acetone-free soak-off gel nail polish remover you simply apply directly on top of your nails like an extra coat of polish — it bubbles up and shrivels the gel polish, making it easy to remove without all the hassle of going back to a salon or waiting around with tinfoil on your fingers for an inordinate amount of time you just plain don't have.
10. A painless, mint-flavored teeth-whitening pen for sensitive teeth and gums that can help lighten up years' worth of stains from coffee, tea, wine, or just ... you know — existing as a human with teeth — in a quick two weeks instead of an expensive trip to a specialist.
11. A bottle of tea tree essential oil to cover a whole bunch of your bases in one little bottle — reviewers use it to help cleanse buildup on their scalps, prevent dryness, help soothe red patches and irritation, strengthen their nail beds, and just generally ~breathe in~ because it smells so darn relaxing.
12. A pair of compression gloves designed to help alleviate pain from carpal tunnel and arthritis, so you can type at your keyboard without an internal monologue of "ow OW ow owwwww" for the majority of your day.
13. A power scrubber brush you can attach to a DRILL (!!) that basically does all of the hard grime-busting for you, so you can drastically cut the time (and the arm ache) of cleaning.
14. A set of Bottle Bright tablets so you can tackle all those caked-on stains in your bottles, travel mugs, and even coffee makers without scrubbing them into eternity and wasting a small ocean's worth of hot water.
15. A set of perforated air fryer liners, because the majesty of owning an air fryer is just how fast it'll perfectly crisp dinner — it makes no sense to have to deal with a big ole mess afterward to compensate.
16. An internet-beloved time-marked water bottle you can get in a bajillion different colors to remind you to stay hydrated during the day, so you can finally stop halfheartedly chugging water at the end of it and then waking up to pee three times a night.
17. A set of washing machine cleaning tablets that'll tackle that weird mold + mildew smell in one cycle. Your laundry will come out so fresh that you'll hold your nose up to it like you're auditioning to play "Human In Scented Detergent Commercial."
18. A pair of comfy period-proof underwear designed to hold two tampons' worth of period blood, so you can save money and effort on buying tampons, pads, *and* new underwear, since the blood washes right out of those every time.
19. A Hello Fresh subscription to save you time with my two least favorite problems: deciding what to eat (the BURDEN of CHOICE!!) and figuring out how on Earth to most effectively make it. This is a delicious option that will gently hand-hold you, letting you pick from a variety of options and sending the precise ingredients and instructions you need.
20. Plus an eight-pack of ready-to-eat refried beans with a 12-month shelf life, so anytime you look down at a dish and think, "Hmm, this needs a little extra ~oomph~," you'll have a delicious option you don't have to worry about expiring anytime soon.
21. A jewelry-cleaning stick with cleansing solution on a brush designed specifically to get in the nooks and crannies of your jewelry, so you can get some sparkly-as-heck Instagrams without wasting your time or money taking it back to the jeweler for a cleaning.
22. A handy fridge deodorizer to finally get rid of that slightly ~off~ smell your fridge has been rocking for awhile, no matter how many times you've gone to clown town cleaning it out.
23. A HyperChiller to instantly transform any hot or room-temperature beverage into an ice cold one, whether it's fresh coffee or iced tea or rosé you forgot to cool down (happens to the best of us). Sorry, fridge. You can sit this one out.
24. A foaming garbage disposal cleaner you can plop into your sink, run a little water on, and let its blue magic fizz its way up to the top while clearing out all the gunk and gross smells from your culinary adventures in one go.
25. A super-soft Makeup Eraser that wipes makeup right off your face with nothing but water and a gentle scrub — and, more importantly, has a microfiber blend specifically designed to clear gunk from your pores. It won't just clean your face now, but prevent all blackheads and breakouts in the long run, too.
26. A set of dishwasher cleaning tablets you can pop into a cycle with your dirty dishes to wipe out all the extra grime and that funky smell you can never seem to get rid of no matter how hard you try. You don't even need to scrub — these do all the work for you!
27. A "Kick Rocks" gentle cleaning scrub you can use on pretty much anything from toilets to tubs to ovens to car tires, so you can stop wasting time trying to figure out what cleaner to use where and just rely on this hardy stuff indiscriminately.
28. A roll-on migraine stick made with peppermint, spearmint, and lavender oils to help you soothe away those vague headaches you've been trying to ignore until they go away.
29. A face mask-friendly baseball cap to solve two problems lickety-split — one being how you're going to style your hair today (boom, hat, done) and the other being the ache mask straps sometimes give your ears.
30. A pack of NeuroGum made with a blend of caffeine and nootropics, designed to give you energy five times faster than regular coffee — without jitters or sluggishness afterward. That chronic 3 p.m. slump when you suddenly have the attention span of a goldfish just met its match.
31. A set of bed bands that will lock your fitted sheets neatly into place so you can stop shoving the loose corners under your duvet whenever you're too tired to remake your whole bed in the morning.
32. A Pet House candle with scents engineered to cancel out all those miscellaneous pet odors like litter boxes, dog bed, and all those lil' sprinkles of pee that you've just accepted as "eau de basement" since your pet came into your home.
33. A nifty Beard Bib that suctions itself to the mirror and helps trap beard hairs before they hit the floor, saving you the time and effort of collecting the hair that missed the sink every morning.
34. A grooming glove for cats and dogs that will get the job done FAST, and spare you future cleanup digging mountains of hair out of the carpet to boot.
35. A set of airtight glass meal prep containers that are safe in the oven and the microwave, meaning you can cook, store, reheat, and eat out of 'em all in one go, sparing your future self more cleanups than you can count.
36. A rapid egg cooker so you can cook a week's worth of breakfast eggs and have the age old "What should I have for breakfast??" problem solved in a matter of minutes, whether you want a good old-fashioned hard boil or like 'em a little runnier.
37. An smudgeproof eyeliner stamp so you can finally get the perfect cat-eye on the first go without having to ~wing it~ (read: wasting eight cotton balls, half a bottle of eye makeup remover, and all of the minutes you were setting aside to make your morning coffee).
38. A silicone baking mat for your sheet pan, so you meal prep big batches of veggies with all your favorite sauces and seasonings and take care of dinner sides for the week (without greasing up a whole pan and doing a massive scrub of it later).
39. A dream balm made with calming herbs and essential oils like lavender, chamomile, mugwort, and valerian to help you nod off to dreamland in a timely manner instead of playing mind games with yourself for a full hour before conking out.
40. A Lay-n-Go cosmetic bag that is basically a disorganized-but-aspiring-organized person's dream come true – it fans out to become a mat, saving you time on the packing *and* unpacking end of using it.
41. A weekly pill organizer designed with push-through silicone lids to easily organize your pills at the beginning of the week without worrying about knocking it over while the lids are all open. Each pod also has a magnetized base, so you can easily remove it and replace it if you're on the move.
42. A stick of Body Glide anti-chafing balm you can apply between your thighs to avoid all that skin irritation you get from running or hiking in the heat, so you can just be on your merry way without having to deal with the uncomfy aftermath.
43. A hands-free shopping bag carrier with some real Santa vibes — this lets you connect all your grocery bags together and haul 'em up in one go instead of going back and forth from the car three times.
Being smug about taking care of little problems despite being bonkers busy like:
