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1. A 25-pack of Baked By Melissa cupcakes for anyone whose favorite flavor is "all of them."
2. A Baby Yoda puzzle, because birthdays are a time for reflecting on the important things in life, like the fictional alien child they've pseudo-adopted with the rest of humanity.
3. A "because quarantine birthday" wineglass they can use to toast to everyone in the Zoom birthday chat after y'all sing "Happy Birthday" in nine different (but no less enthusiastic!!) keys.
4. Plus a personalized delivery of Winc wines your friend can choose for themselves, because honestly, our collective new favorite varietal of wine is the "pick it up from the doorstep" kind.
5. A copy of 52 Lists For Happiness perfect for setting the birthday ~mood~ for everything they want to appreciate in their life now, and accomplish in the future.
6. An assortment of Milk Bar cookies from the iconic New York-based bakery, aka the ultimate birthday bragging right — ordinarily you have to stand in line for a bajillion years for one of these!
7. A personalizable non-medical birthday-themed face mask they'll still get use out of after the big day when they're inevitably celebrating other people's birthdays over Zoom (or if social distancing is relaxed enough for small gatherings in the future).
8. A socially distanced birthday card they can keep to look back on that one weird birthday we were all quarantined as heck.
9. A garden-themed monogram mug you can get personalized with the first letter of their name, so they can immediately set to putting it in all their cozy #StayHome Instagrams.
10. Plus one of these birthday celebration-themed teas — one full of rainbow sprinkles, and the other full of POPPING CANDY. The ideal quaran-tea to sip on your day of birth.
11. A make-your-own-wine kit so they can celebrate the next year of their human existence by toasting with five bottles of home-brewed red from the comfort of their own couch.
12. A personalized apron for the Disney foodie in your life, complete with little cartoons of everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream: MICKEY-SHAPED.
13. A Soap & Glory birthday box set complete with a hydrating shower gel, a velvety body butter, and a loofah for their coziest birthday yet.
14. A six-layer cake with a surprise rainbow inside from Carlo's Bakery (aka the Cake Boss), because everyone knows that cake tastes best in as many colors as possible.
15. A Birthday Party candle with notes of butter, cream, vanilla, and spice that will entirely banish whatever lingering smells of FOMO may be in your friend's room.
16. A set of Disney princess face masks so they can spend their birthday channeling their inner Belle, Ariel, Aurora, and Jasmine (read: singing endlessly and unrepentantly, as all birthday celebrators should).
17. A set of blooming lollipops that they can eat, then use the leftover stick to PLANT in a little pot right in the comfort of their own home, starting a lil' birthday garden at the perfect time of year for it.
18. A customizable Glossier Balm Dotcom trio gift set full of ultra-hydrating, gorgeously subtle colors you can hand-pick for your friend — including a sparkly *birthday* balm.
19. A set of three Jars By Dani cake jars s t a c k e d with layers of cake, frosting, and other goodies — plus, you can handpick the flavors based on what kind of cake vibe your friend is feeling.
20. A game of The Office-themed Clue, so they can spend their birthday hunting through the break room, the conference room, and Michael's office to figure out who killed Toby and how (my money's on "with a ream of paper," personally).
21. A mini waffle maker that will truly become a lockdown mainstay in their kitchen — this lil' bb can make waffles, paninis, hash browns, pizza, and even warm up cookie dough.
22. A beginner's ukulele complete with a guide with 75 songs, online audio instructions, *and* an instructional DVD, so they can use quarantine to pick up a new skill and serenade you the next time y'all meet.
23. An Atlas Coffee Club subscription for that friend who is missing their coffee runs the most right now — this will send them a different gourmet coffee from around the world every month, along with tasting notes, brewing instructions, and a postcard from the country it's from.
24. Plus a pastel blue French press so they can watch the ~process~, and get their perfectly brewed cup of joe without wasting money on paper filters or a fancy coffee machine.
25. A veritable vat of Magnolia Bakery's red velvet banana pudding, a *chef's kiss* ridiculously delicious twist on a classic stuffed with cream cheese frosting and red velvet cake.
26. A statement-making cat paw AirPods case purrrfect for the friend who keeps losing theirs right before they're supposed to take a Skype call.
27. An illustrated mini box of 100 essential cocktail recipes divided by types of liquor for all the birthday inspo they need and beyond.
28. Plus an intricate floral ice mold to seriously elevate their birthday cocktails, whether it's something fancy they whipped up from from a recipe, or everyone's new favorite quarantine drink: Whatever Alcohol Y'all Have Left.
29. A "Hot People Like Hot Sauce" tea towel that also serves as an important lockdown cooking PSA: when in doubt, just add hot sauce.
30. A cookie dough four-pack from Cookie DŌ bakery full of mouth-watering flavors they can take straight to the face without bothering to bake them.
31. Fenty Beauty Stunna Lip Paint that'll give them an all-day, long-lasting pop of color for all their birthday FaceTime calls without any of the hassle of reapplying a bajillion times.
32. A box of custom shortbread cookies that will shout your birthday joy at them every time they peel one open and take a bite.
33. A very huggable, quite fluffy corgi butt plush they can either store in a fridge as a cooling pad or heat up in the microwave for a cozy (lavender-scented!) heating pad at the end of their at-home birthday dance party.
34. A pair of rosebud drop earrings so they can channel spring in all their birthday selfies, no ifs, ands, or ~buds~ about it.
35. An embroidered "Ew, David" hat for anyone whose birthday theme is a little bit Alexis ✨.
36. A set of cat-themed tarot cards complete with a guide on how to pull the cards and how to interpret them so they can be everyone's go-to Zoom tarot reader meow.
37. Philosophy Vanilla Birthday Cake Shampoo, Shower Gel, and Bubble Bath that's basically one-size-fits-all for however they're getting their b-day suds on during lockdown.
Your friend when a lovely lil' birthday surprise comes in the mail:
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