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15 Headlines From Windsor, Ontario, That Will Make You Say "WTF"

Pretty much Canada's version of Florida.

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1. When strip clubs promised free lap dances if the Toronto Blue Jays won.

The Windsor Star / Via windsorstar.com

...

2. When a woman was caught filming live sex shows in the public library...while children walked by.

🎵 Having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card. 🎵
ctvnews.ca

🎵 Having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card. 🎵

3. When this driver was just a little too eager to cross a bridge.

Driver charged in crash on River Canard bridge https://t.co/GL2Ywb3w1A

4. When the local university handed these shirts out for an STD testing marathon.

Just hit 100 person mark at the Ts for Pee at the U of W. Trying to break record for STD tests in 24 hour frame.

5. When the city was plagued by this violent beef jerky bandit.

Alleged beef jerky thief punches Mac's Milk employee https://t.co/lluWXssmCr

6. And this poopy painter.

The Lance / Via uwindsorlance.ca

7. When this man let everyone know how much he loved David Bowie.

Facebook: cbcnews

8. When mother-daughter bonding time went all wrong.

Facebook: CTVWindsor

9. And when this drug smuggler got a little too creative.

Scuba diver arrested in Michigan for trying to swim drugs from Canada into America. Info: http://t.co/XAOV6ncGji

10. When this guy had zero time for the law.

OPP charge driver with having bald tires, open liquor and wrong-coloured car https://t.co/g1REZ5Uevo

11. When the city's panhandlers unionized.

Panhandlers asked to pay union dues as new hall opens in Windsor https://t.co/8xTJJq3X2K

12. When a clump of caterpillars rattled the community.

CBC Windsor / Via cbc.ca

13. When serious criminal activity demanded a serious police operation.

Windsor police set up a stake out to catch a serial newspaper thief: http://t.co/4aQ7UmLQCo

14. When this man yelled at police officers for trying to rescue him from a very dirty and dangerous river.

Postmedia / Via news.nationalpost.com

15. And, of course, when this Canadian hero slammed back a few brews and successfully swam to America.

was reminded today of this great canadian who overcame adversity to achieve his dream. http://t.co/OlZ7cMyBgs

16. UPDATE: We've made a terrible mistake and forgot the time an unnamed artist created an iconic penis bush on the waterfront. Please accept our apologies.

Lest we forget the great Penis Bush debaucle in Windsor.