39. Martin Van Buren
Texture: A wool coat.
Shape: Floating clouds or bundles of cotton.
Overall Score: 2.5
If my hair only grew on the sides of my face, I would definitely brush it straight out as well.
38. William McKinley
Texture: A bamboo rug.
Shape: Martin Scorcese’s right eyebrow.
Overall Score: 3
His practical approach was quite refreshing: A douse or two or three of water and you’re good to go!
30. Andrew Johnson
Texture: Robin William’s arm hair.
Shape: Hipster beanie.
Overall Score: 4.5
What he lacked in shape, he made up for in volume.
15. Ulysses Grant
Shape: A garden before the vegetables have grown.
Overall Score: 5.7
An all-around solid look. I feel like this is what Justin Timberlake might look like when he’s good and ripened.
8. Benjamin Harrison
Texture: A doily.
Shape: Bikini top.
Overall Score: 7.5
I’m biased, he reminds me of that adorable old man who made Jurassic Park from that mosquito stick.
4. Abraham Lincoln
Texture: Hair that hasn’t been washed in two days.
Overall Score: 8.5
This man was for sure one of those babies who was born with an absurd amount of hair. Just with like, an abundance of hair follicles.
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