19 Sex Toys That Can Basically Double As Decor

Everybody knows you should fill your home with multi-use items!

1. A bluetooth-connected couple's ring with beautiful curves and contours that make it look like it could control those smart window shades you installed.

amazon.com

Rechargeable, adjustable, waterproof, low-power alert, body-safe, app-ready, and with a 2-year warranty.

Promising review: "This thing is the bees knees. It's strong, 10 different levels of strength, multiple different vibe modes, has just the right amount of weight and does the job, very well at that! If you haven't experienced any kind of ring before then take caution. This one does encompass the whole area and may be uncomfortable for some with the way it's worn and the opening. If that is not an issue for you, then give this thing a try. It's great for solo and couples. This company carries the only line of functionable male toys that can connect via bluetooth and also come with an app for long distance fun with a partner! Also the app offers chat, calling, and video to make those long distances not so long as well as partner control. The only flaw I find is the size of the hole so you must plan to use it before any kind of stimulation because YOU WILL NOT GET IT ON! Other than that I couldn't be happier with this one!" —Jay

Get it from Amazon for $97.98.

2. A rubber ducky vibrator for a lil' bath-side decor you should probably hide when your nephews come over to hang out.

Lovehoney

Waterproof, made from skin-safe rubber, and runs on 1 AAA battery (included).

Promising review: "I bought this because I love rubber duckies. I have a huge selection of them, so when I saw this I had to have it. I found it's easy to travel with, works awesome in the tub, and nobody ever looks twice at it! Easy to turn on switch, and it doesn't kill the batteries!" —ashley55

Get it from Love Honey for $29.99

3. A ~love~ wall art kit so guests can marvel over the fruits of you and bae's intimacy like a Rorschach test.

amazon.com, amazon.com

Includes non-allergenic canvas, non-toxic washable paint, and disposable slippers.

Promising review: "Absolutely loved it! A few tips: warm the paint first. We didn't and it was freezing! Work quickly because it dries fast. Start foreplay before putting any paint down. Make sure you have shower bathtub cleaner bc I had to scrub the shower the next day from all the black residue leftover. Paint didn't stain our skin, except created in our hands and under our fingernails. Overall, were extremely happy and will purchase again!!" —Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $60 or a similar one from Uncommon Goods for $70.

4. An eggplant vibrator to marry your love for dirty texting and clean eating in an object that looks like a kitchen accent.

emojibator.com

10 vibration settings, waterproof, and runs on four LR44 batteries (included).

Get it from Emojibator for $29 (also available in chili pepper and banana).

5. A glass dildo your Nana will wish you'd bought BOGO so she could place one at the entrance of her Dickensian Christmas village she keeps up October through February.

anrdoezrs.net

It's never too early to shop for Christmas decor! Made of smooth borosilicate glass, non-porous, completely hypoallergenic, and can be heated up or cooled down for temperature play.

Promising review: "Purchased this product because I love candy canes, but not for the intended purpose. It's a beautiful piece of glass. You could leave it out during the holidays and no one would be the wiser unless they were familiar with the company's catalog of products. I thought it could work at a topper on my tree, but it's too heavy. Maybe I will look for a glass bowl with glass candy and add the candy cane to the setting for future holiday seasons. Perhaps this isn't the pleasure one expected for this product, but I am happy with my purchase." —Christine B

Get it from Adam & Eve for $39.95.

6. A trio of hot-drip bondage candles you can keep in pretty holders 'til it's time to use them.

Lovehoney

Designed to burn hotter than massage candles and provide intense heat for pleasure/pain experimentation. These candles will leave a non-permanent mark on the skin, which fades within 12-24 hours.

Promising review: "Each of the three colors looks just like a normal candle, and I would not at all be worried about letting them stand out in the open. It is easy to play around with sensations, and how much heat should be in the sting. Keeping the candle closer or further away from the body makes both the heat and the spread of the wax act differently. Experiment! These candles make it really easy, and are a lot of fun. Letting the candle burn for a while before your next drip makes the wax heat up more (be a little careful though, after 5 minutes it can get very hot and be more painful than you wanted it to be)." —Clockwork_Oasis

Get them from Love Honey for $12.99.

7. An amethyst wand that might just bring you some calm, patience, and peace.

etsy.com

Get it from ChakrubShop on Etsy for $125 (down from $280).

8. A mini shapely massager available in a few fun color combos to fit your playful interior aesthetic as a seemingly open-ended objet d'art.

amazon.com

Runs for up to 5 hours on a single AAA battery. Waterproof up to 15 feet and made of FDA-approved body-safe silicone.

Promising review: "It's really small, fits in the palm of your hand, and only has one speed, but boy is it powerful. I've been in a bit of a rut since I've had my kids but this product is adding the spice back into my love life. You can use it alone or during intercourse. If you are looking for something quiet, discreet, and affordable this is the thing for you." —Megan K

Get it from Amazon for $22+ (available in three colors).

9. A Motörhead rocket dildo to fill a void in your collection of band merch.

Lovehoney

RIP Lemmy.

Promising review: "The Motörhead Bomber Massager arrives so beautifully wrapped you will be struggling to decide whether to open it or display it (the addition of the silicone stand proudly displaying the Ace of Spades logo makes you wonder if there was ever any intention for this not be shown to the masses). The cool smooth glass doesn't disappoint. The toy can be used vaginally or anally. The only limit is your own imagination. Hot or cold this toy will easily get you there. Then, when you are done store it safely in its small satin toy bag for later." —Kathryn

Get it from Love Honey for $49.99.

10. An oral sex stimulator as the perfect addition to your styled bookshelves. Now you can finally say that you own something that won a Cannes Lion award!

lelo.com

10 pleasure settings, waterproof, and fully rechargeable.

Promising review: "I love this toy. It doesn't look like a toy. You can lay it out and because of the shape of it, no one knows what exactly it is unless they have one. Every time I use it I have a fantastic orgasm. I used to think my toy like a 'rabbit' also from Lelo was the greatest. Now this has taken its place." —Wendy

Get it from Lelo for $189 (available in three colors).

11. A heart-shaped riding crop you could buy a dozen of them and put in a cute vase. They'll be useful for much longer than a bouquet of roses.

Lovehoney

Promising review: "I was trying to think of something that we didn't have for Valentine's. Always fancied one of these, so glad I got one. Wow, one side is softer than the other for the little spanks and other side is faux leather for the hard crack if you like it (and believe me it's lush). It will leave little red hearts on your body for a while, but the stinging sensation is amazing! I love it. Even my partner is enjoying the odd crack. A definite buy for the toy cupboard." —Legs47

Get it from Love Honey for $16.99.

12. A vibrating wand someone may mistake as a smart lightbulb, so don't stash it with your spare bulbs.

jet.com

7 functions of intense vibration, pulsation, and escalation. Made of satin-finish silicone, waterproof. USB rechargeable (charging cord included) and will run for 1 hour on high speed or 2 hours on low speed.

Promising review: "Smooth to the touch and very attractive to the eye, this wand is sleek, easy to hold and position, and pleasingly intense. The variances in speed and vibration selections are features that enhance enjoyment above the rest. Overall, this is an exceptional toy for sexual pleasure — particularly between women — and is a welcome addition to my adult toy box." —Jae Richardson

Get it from Amazon for $39.14.

13. A glow-in-the-dark cock ring for an adult version of those stars you stuck on your ceiling as a kid.

etsy.com

Get them from LeLuv on Etsy for $7.19+ each (available in a variety of sizes).

14. A dapper clitoral stimulator in black tie your aunt will probably try to hook up to her Neil Diamond Spotify playlist.

Lovehoney

11 pulsating patterns of contact-free stimulation with suction technology. Made of body-safe silicone, ergonomic design, waterproof, and has a magnetic base for USB charging.

Promising review: "The most adorable sex toy I own! If you don't have a suction type clitoral stimulator, the Satisfyer Penguin would be the perfect choice. I wasn’t sure how I’d get on with the Penguin after using the Satisfyer 2 for a few weeks. I loved the length of the handle, it made using the Satisfyer 2 very easy to use. The Penguin is entirely a different shape, however, its sleek, ergonomic curves felt comfortable in my hands. The two buttons (power on/off and speed control) are well placed, unlike the Satisfyer 2 where the buttons were out of reach at the nozzle end. The huge downside to the Satisfyer Pro Penguin is the lack of a third button to scroll back the settings. If the speed becomes too intense, you have to power off, then back on again. Bit of a faff and mood killer, unfortunately." —Purring-Pussy

Get it from Love Honey for $94.99.

15. A vibrating couples' ring that could blend in perfectly with the rest of your minimalist Swedish home finds.

lelo.com

6 vibrating settings, waterproof, and full rechargeable.

Promising review: "This thing is crazy! My lady says it turns me into a Human Vibrator. We call it the Green Machine! It's the most intense 'gasm I have ever felt...she says the same thing....you almost pass out from intense pleasure!!! It has multiple vibe patterns that each work in a different way...You will never regret the purchase!!! OMG!!!!" —Larry

Get it from Lelo for $139 (available in three colors) or Babeland for $149.

16. A cactus dildo as a faux succulent you know won't die on you.

etsy.com

Get it from LeLuv on Etsy for $15.99+ (available in two sizes, seven colors).

17. A pair of nipple suckers that might just get mistaken for a pair of modern salt and pepper shakers.

Lovehoney

Promising review: "Love these little things, for such a small inexpensive product they work wonders. I've never had very sensitive nipples, but after taking these off they were too sensitive! (I left them on way too long.) If you're getting these for the first time I recommend using lube, it enhances the pleasure while they are on. I particularly enjoy applying tingling sensation lubes onto my nipples before using them. The girls jiggled around a lot while they were attached and they did not fall off once! Applied some clamps afterwards and just about orgasmed from that!" —Imp69

Get them from Love Honey for $9.99.

18. A frisky feather duster to tickle your fancy and leave out as an elevated cleaning tool.

Lovehoney

Promising review: "A dark sensual angel must have shed some feathers to make this delicious tickler. The plumage is just heavenly. Each feather is different to the next, a deep fierce crimson paired with a stunning iridescent black. The black changes to deep greens when held at different angles. The thick plume is held together by a spiral textured faux leather handle. The handle is chunky without being clunky, it is so easy and comfortable to hold. The base has a handy hanging loop, hanging up the tickler keeps it looking fresh and keeps its glorious shape. I hate being tickled, but a tickler is a different sensation. It is relaxing, arousing and extremely enjoyable. Feeling the long soft feathers stroking my sensitive skin adds such depth to any session. The longer handle gives you the chance to be further from your lover, which I really like. It looks like a work of art on the wall." —RosyCheek

Get it from Love Honey for $8.99.

19. A pair of tasteful kegel balls that can pass for those decorative marbles you buy en masse and place in a bowl on your coffee table.

amazon.com

Made of hand-crafted borosilicate glass.

Promising review: "Came on time, just as shown. Beautiful, nice-sized heavy balls. No they don't have weights, but they are a pretty jaded glass. I love them. They do have a good weight to them." —Sundrop10

Get them from Amazon for $10.19.

Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.