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1. A claw grabber that'll save you the trouble of dragging a step stool closer to a lofty shelf.
2. A closet packed with comfy onesies that have flaps so you don't have to get undressed to go to the bathroom.
3. A plug-in Wi-Fi extender so you can watch uninterrupted videos, even when you're in your basement pillow fort.
4. A remote-controlled curtain rod to let in some natural light — without making you leave the confines of your bedding.
5. A weighted drink holder that'll let you park a steaming-hot cup of coffee beside you 'til it's ready to drink.
6. The Dot, which uses Alexa to outsource tasks like summoning an Uber, ordering pizza, opening garage doors, switching on lawn sprinklers. Basically everything but opening a beer for you.
7. A salad spinner for when you walk the line between lazy and not ingesting pesticides.
8. A self-cleaning cat litter box that looks like a toilet bowl.
9. A Wi-Fi video doorbell that shows who's at the door and lets you talk to them while still in bed. (Yep, this guy is judging you for your lazy, efficient ways.)
10. A linen bedding set that snaps together so you can make your bed in one fell swoop.
11. A portable combo fridge/warmer in every room so you'll always have a cold can of beer OR a warm slice of pizza.
12. A 100-foot de-icing cable so your roof won't suffer damage this winter.
13. A Philips Hue kit that you can program with Alexa to control your household lights.
14. A spider-like tablet holder that'll straddle you in bed or on the couch for easier binge-watching.
15. And a smart device clamp stand for when you need 360 degrees of rotation.
16. A touchless lube dispenser that warms it to the perfect temp, outsourcing some of the hard work.
17. A bedside caddy that'll corral your remote control, tablet, and current reading material.
18. A 2-in-1 food chopper because washing cutting boards is for chumps.
19. A flexible hair dryer stand that'll reserve your arm strength for sipping champs.
20. The Alexa-enabled Nest thermostat system that sends you alerts, knows when you're home, and will flash the time, temp, and weather when it spots you from across the room.
21. A three-piece set of FDA-approved non-stick oven liners that cut down on cleanup time.
22. Or a self-cleaning oven with a steam clean option.
23. A monthly paper plate subscription so you never have to wash dishes.
24. A play mat-turned-bag that'll make quick work of cleaning up toys.
25. An automatic pet food dispenser that'll keep Fido fed when you're away or just watching a movie on the couch.
26. A bagel guillotine because why dirty a perfectly good knife?
27. An easy tear paper-towel holder that requires only one hand to maneuver.
28. A slow cooker with a temperature probe or Wi-Fi enabled Crock-Pot to set and forget your dinner...until you catch a delicious whiff.
29. A robot vacuum that'll also mop your hard floors.
30. A USB outlet cover so you don't have to dig around for a phone charger.
31. A motion-sensor trashcan that you don't have to touch.
32. An air-conditioned bed cover for when you just can't bring yourself to step outdoors.
33. A set of 200 super-long 17" straws for sipping your drink without moving it from the coffee table.
34. A robot butler to handle onerous household tasks.
35. And a boyfriend pillow for when you want snuggles but are too lazy to meet new people.
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