1. When someone suggested the Trump kids and Jared Kushner would've been in Slytherin, and J.K. shut it down immediately.
2. In fact, just every time she brutally burned Trump. Which happens a lot.
'Mommy was mean to me and I don't wanna hold her hand no more.'
3. ...And not only to the president himself.
I wish the International Olympic Committee would praise me for winning gold in the four-man bobsleigh.
4. When this guy came up with the idea of men wearing "penis hats", and she saw her chance and ran with it.
Every man who feels this way should wear his penis hat with pride.
5. When someone tried to dictate what she can and can't discuss on Twitter, and she was having none of it.
In - Free - Countries - Anyone - Can - Talk - About - Politics. Try sounding out the syllables aloud, or ask a flu… https://t.co/jeMAiY8aph
6. Seriously. For some reason, people do this a lot.
Pick up any of my books or movies. See how it doesn’t say ‘free with this purchase: the right to dictate what the a… https://t.co/eOqm4QuX6u
7. When she spent some time dragging Piers Morgan to hell.
8. And, when he tried to clap back, she reminded him exactly why she is the undisputed Queen of Twitter.
.@piersmorgan If only you'd read Harry Potter, you'd know the downside of sucking up to the biggest bully in school is getting burned alive.
9. She even opened up old wounds. Because she's savage AF.
#StillHurts
10. When this guy tried to shame women who watched the Fifty Shades movie, and J.K. just felt sorry for him.
11. Basically just any time a man says something stupid, actually.
A man just sent me this and not only am I unsure whether it's a really awful joke or he's serious, I can't decide w… https://t.co/Gu1G0r5yjK
12. When people on Twitter were sharing a meme about her death, and she really wasn't into it.
13. When someone called her a "buttsniffing welfare queen", which deserves points for creativity, I guess.
I think he's got a crush on me.
14. When someone tried to go all ~mark of the beast~ on her, and she just laughed.
Nicolas Flamel doesn't die in the Potter books. Seriously, read before you burn, it'll make attacking me so much ea… https://t.co/CTntO4zjdS
15. ...And then came back with this incredible quip an hour later.
16. In fact, just every time someone makes reference to burning the Harry Potter books.
Well, the fumes from the DVDs might be toxic and I've still got your money, so by all means borrow my lighter.
17. Which happens a lot, apparently.
Guess it's true what they say: you can lead a girl to books about the rise and fall of an autocrat, but you still c… https://t.co/YI1UoI7uWW
18. Come on, guys. That debate is sooo 1997.
I seem to have woken up in the 90s.
19. But, of course, J.K. still managed to keep her sense of humour about it.
20. When someone claimed she "grew up on the queen's dime", and she gifted us with this beautiful mental image.
@NickCohen4 "the queen's dime." As if I grew up in the palace kitchen, polishing corgis.
21. When there was a rumour that Warner Bros. was making Cursed Child into a movie based on info from her evil twin, J.K. Radcliffe.
This JK Radcliffe is a reliable source. You should speak to him/her more often. 😂
22. When someone asked her for the billionth time how you make a Horcrux, and she somehow managed to come up with an original answer ~after all this time~.
Because we appear to be living in an alternative reality where dreadful things you thought were impossible can happ… https://t.co/LfZv5IyEKO
23. When someone called her a nerd, and she was just like, "...yup".
Obviously. Duh.
24. When she was asked where she'd like to visit, and she jumped on the opportunity to out-troll the trolls.
25. When she went with the classic "well, actually...".
It should be 'shiterature.' You're welcome.
26. And, finally, when the simple response was the best.
Thanks.