1. "Don't get caught under the bleachers with any girls. Take it slow."
2. Always hold hands before crossing the street.
3. Allow your kids to have a night light.
4. "Soda rots your teeth, but your going to lose those anyway so rot on."
5. Rollerblading is never cool.
6. "Stay clean. Stay strong. Stay focused."
7. Accidents Happen.
8. "Loop Swoop Pull."
9. "There's a brightside to being up before 11. We can catch McDonalds breakfast."
10. "Real dads aren't always great. I have a real dad and he's out of his mind."
11. Always make sure your kids are well fed.
12. "You drink the booze, you lose."
13. "Puddle it up."
14. Allow your kids to express themselves.
15. Stay in front of the ball.
16. Taco your pizza when necessary.
17. [Referring to girls] "Initiating the conversation is half the battle."
18. Show your kids that learning can be fun.
19. "We all love Yoohoo."
20. Always dress to impress.
21. Slow down.
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