1.
she’s not gonna text u back she got a weighted blanket for christmas which doesn’t talk and doesn’t try to have sex with her 10 minutes into watching a movie
2.
Sorry I’m late I got stuck under my weighted blanket
3.
Bro ur lucky my weighted blanket is holding me back
4.
You’ve got to keep your weighted blanket perfectly even across your bed unless you get dragged off into the abyss off one side once it starts to fall
5.
cant afford a weighted blanket so im just pouring concrete onto my duvet
6.
Who needs a weighted blanket when you have the crushing weight of existential dread
7.
My ideal weighted blanket experience
8.
My weighted blanket cannot protect me from myself
9.
a weighted blanket feels like a nice ghoul holding your body down forcing you into slumber
10.
Men: -make you feel bad -will not communicate intentions -cost you years of life and your self esteem A weighted blanket: -make you feel not better but calmer it’s hard to explain -clear product description on box and tag -cost between $40-80 depending on weight, quality etc
11.
you, docile and uninquisitive: using a weighted blanket for comfort and counting anxiety me, a genius: using a weighted blanket to get buff as heck while i sleep
12.
That pile of clothes on your bed can double as a weighted blanket.
13.
me under my weighted blanket every night
14.
Pumping iron, but it's just me folding my weighted blanket
15.
Slept under a weighted blanket last night
16.
just got done *working out *having sex under a weighted blanket
17.
I want a weighted blanket but they’re like $200 which is ridiculous so I will pay someone $7 to just lay on me, DM if interested serious inquiries only
18.
2020 year of the weighted blanket