No One Asked, But I Ranked All The Minor "Mean Girls" Characters From Worst To Best

Grool.

The holiday season is quickly approaching, which means it's time for my annual rewatch of my favorite Christmas movie: Mean Girls.

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On this most recent rewatch, I truly appreciated all the minor characters in film, so I decided to power rank all of the minor characters (five lines or less) from worst to best:

27. Coach Carr:

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Not only is he AWFUL at teaching sex ed, he's also a predator. He SHOULD be in jail. 

26. Jason:

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I just KNOW that Mr. Butter-Your-Muffin would have defended Coach Carr / blamed the underaged girls for being preyed on by him. Don't forget that he cheated on Gretchen with Taylor Weddell! He deserved that radio to the face. 

25. The kid with the mom who has long chest hair:

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No one likes a bully! Unless that bully is Regina George. 

24. Shane Oman:

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Like, it's pretty fucked up that he was hooking up with his teammate's girlfriend behind his back.

23. These collective teachers:

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If these were my pick of teachers, I would simply transfer schools.

22. Seth Mosakowski:

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Don't hookup with your first cousin. 

21. These weird religious kids:

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I mean they think that guns were created to kill the homosexuals...so this kinda speaks for itself. 

20. Kristen Hadley:

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Sorry that Cady was just tryna be nice! No need to threaten bodily harm!

19. Dawn Schweitzer:

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While I don't condone violence, the first hit that Dawn threw DID lead to my favorite line of all time, so she's higher than Kristen. (The line was Mr. Duvall's "Oh, hell nah, I did not leave the South Side for this.") 

18. The spelling-bee freak:

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IDK man, she just rubbed me the wrong way. You can just tell that she's a brownnoser. 

17. The Marymount mathletes:

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Again, BROWN-NOSERS! 

16. Caroline Krafft:

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She's probs a brownnoser, too, but I sympathize with her a bit more since she's the only girl on the mathletes team. 

15. The dude who farts a lot:

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As someone with IBS, I can relate to this man. But also, when in public, you gotta clench, my dude! 

14. The Junior Plastics:

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Listen, for all we know, they could be the nicest girls in the world! I refuse to pass judgement until I know more about them! 

13. Taylor Weddell:

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I feel bad for this girl! She just got caught in the crossfire. 

12. "Danny DeVito":

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Ol' girl was just tryna wash her hands in the bathroom. 

11. Amber D'Alessio:

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Can someone please explain how one — and why one — would make out with a hot dog? 

10. The girl who Regina once punched in the face:

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"I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops." 

9. The unfriendly Black hotties:

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I personally really did like that one girl's skirt! 

8. Nfume:

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Future unfriendly Black hottie in the making. 

7. Kristen Hadley's boyfriend:

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This lil' boy gave us the ICONIC "Mom, can you pick me up? I'm scared." 

6. Kylie George:

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Dancing queen. 

5. Kevin Gnapoor:

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I'm just glad that, in the end, this man got his "varsity" jacket. 

4. Annfernee:

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Homie isn't even IN the movie, and yet, he's in the top five. 

3. The girl who doesn't even go here:

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She just has a lot of feelings, y'all!

2. Glenn Coco:

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Does this need an explanation? 

1. Ol' girl from Michigan:

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This girl did more for race relations in this one moment than most politicians do in their entire careers.