1. When someone has the ~audacity~ to betray you via iMessage.
2. When restaurants keep playing these games that you didn't ask to join.
3. When your S.O. has plans at 9:00 p.m. so you schedule an argument for 8:55 p.m.
4. When you've been slighted by your ex but you decide to play a lil' ruff. #BoneAppleTheTeeth
5. When you finally get a new job so you can leave your whack-ass old job.
6. When someone tries to check you when they really should be checkin' themselves.
7. When you can't sleep because you keep thinking about that one thing your bae did six months ago.
8. When Karen from the office cleans out the fridge without telling you.
9. When you try to be nice to someone on social media, but then you remember they've given you no reason to be.
"It's ________ birthday" Me: Let me go tell them happy birthday real quick. Also me: Did they tell you happy birthday? https://t.co/ek9dWkZexf
10. When someone THOUGHT they were getting home from work faster than you.
11. When the moment has come for you to break out the receipts.
12. When cutting people out of your life is one of your favorite pastimes.
literally
13. When someone you're dating clearly doesn't value your time and that has to be rectified.
when he waits 3 hours to text back so you wait 3 days
14. When hatred is a binding factor in all your relationships.
15. When socializing is for one thing and one thing only.
16. When your phone is your greatest weapon.
17. When someone has the nerve to step on your territory.
18. When you low-key live for nudging your bae closer and closer to the edge.
19. When you criticize someone for doing the same foolishness you did five minutes ago.
20. When you revel in the wake of your enemies.
21. When you've been on the phone with bae for hours and they try to start playing this phone game.
22. When your friend has wronged you and you demand reparations.
23. And finally, when you've found a place where you truly belong.
It's OK — you didn't choose the petty life, it chose you.
