23 "No Man Has All Three" Tweets That Are 100% Hilarious And 200% True

    I am on the floor.

    Ehis Osifo
    by Ehis Osifo

    BuzzFeed Staff

    1.

    Chase @chaseIyons

    no man has all 3: -shampoo -body wash -conditioner They all use 3 in 1 soap

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    2.

    blondie wasabi @bIondiewasabi

    no white man has all 3: -an understanding of wealth inequality -doesn’t say the n-word -a dad who isn’t a republican

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    3.

    Eva Victor @evaandheriud

    no man has all three: - my best jokes - my ass in their hand - my secrets

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    4.

    viking @notviking

    no man has all three: • a love for acting • a tattoo of an eye on his ankle • the baudelaire fortune

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    5.

    Kandahar Giant Believer @half_orc_

    no man has all three: • the lord of the rings the fellowship of the ring extended edition on dvd • the lord of the rings the two towers extended edition on dvd • the lord of the rings the return of the king extended edition on dvd

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    6.

    the philosophy joker @argumentwinner

    no man has all three: -listenable podcast -competent skincare regimen -fridge that contains more than singleton beer cans and takeout leftovers

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    7.

    Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt

    No man has all three: • an interesting origin story • an invisible plane • a lasso that makes you tell the truth

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    8.

    brittany😔🤟🏼 @Brittany_broski

    no guy has all 3: -the glitz -the glam -the fashion

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    9.

    THE TWILIGHT SAGA @Twilight

    No guy has all 3: - Eternal life - Mind reader - Shimmering skin

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    10.

    Tyler Wells @tylerdw

    no guy has all 3: - chicken flavor ramen - steak flavor ramen - anything resembling vegetables

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    11.

    justin @farringt0n

    no guy has all 3: - a dick - nipples - respect for women

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    12.

    the girl with the sample text tattoo @turnthepge

    no guy has all 3: -bath mat -toilet mat -sink mat

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    13.

    buzzfeed plz pay me @brainwxrms

    no frat guy has all 3: -a clean std test -more than one pillow -respect for his gf

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    14.

    Stavros Halkias @stavvybaby

    No guy has all 3: 1) 4 roommates 2) a job that is an ironically racist podcast 3) a regular sized or larger penis that also gets hard

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    15.

    Dirty Dancing Movie @DirtyDancingMov

    No guy has all 3: - Skilled dancer - Amazing hair - Strong dislike for corners

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    16.

    pansexual joker @saintknives

    no guy has all 3: 1. a 2. fucking 3. clue

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    17.

    Revolver Volcelot @costaggini

    no guy has all 3: - slick as Gaston - quick as Gaston - neck as incredibly thick as Gaston’s

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    18.

    Revolver Volcelot @costaggini

    no guy has all 3: - bed - bath - beyond

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    19.

    kirkland hannah montana @hannahhh_march

    No guy has all 3: -a therapist -a top sheet -a clean drug test

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    20.

    Rachel McCartney @RachelMComedy

    No guy has all 3: -Bulbasaur -Charmander -Squirtle

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    21.

    limited breadsticks @limitlessjest

    No guy has all three: - Grown Ups (2010) - Grown Ups 2 (2013) - Grown Ups 3 (currently in "development hell")

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    22.

    Revolver Volcelot @costaggini

    no guy has all 3: - beetlejuice - beetlejuice - beetlejuice

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    23.

    blue scooby doo snack @ishotcaillou

    no guy has all three: 1: feelings 2: for 3: me

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