Here's Every Single Thought I Had While Watching The First Episode Of Netflix's "Inventing Anna"

    Are we...not supposed to be rooting for Anna?

    Ehis Osifo
    by Ehis Osifo

    BuzzFeed Staff

    🚨WARNING: Spoilers ahead, obvs.🚨

    Greetings, internet humans! Ya girl is back at it again with another "I watched this so you don't have to" post. For over a week now, I've been hearing multiple people talk about this show called Inventing Anna, so I decided to take a look!

    Now, I don't know MUCH about the series, but I do know that it's based on the crimes and escapades of this woman named Anna who, like, bamboozled and swindled her way into the high life.

    SuperDeluxe

    I get that fraud is illegal, but also, like, I'm kind of rooting for her??? Is that the wrong take?? 

    So, even though no one asked, I decided to watch the first episode of the series and give you my thoughts anyway:

    Before we jump in, here's the synopsis that Netflix gives for Inventing Anna:

    Summary Card for Inventing Anna
    Netflix

    "Audacious entrepreneur or con artist? A journalist chases down the story of Anna Delvey, who convinced New York's elite she was a German heiress." 

    OH, THIS IS SHONDALAND??? This is about to be tight.

    Screen card for Shondaland
    Netflix

    Any series that kicks off with Megan Thee Stallion is the series for me. 

    OK, I'm not German and have yet to meet a German person or immigrant, but is it just me, or does Anna's accent sound...off?

    Netflix

    I would be lying if I said her voice wasn't a little distracting, but maybe I'll get used to it!

    (Writer's note: Hi, it's me from the future! Can confirm that I did get used to it.) 

    *Grabs popcorn*

    A title card about how true this untrue story is; a meme of Joanne the Scammer
    Netflix / Joanne the Scammer

    Anna Delvey walked so that Joanne the Scammer could run. 

    I'm not sure who this mans is, but I can only assume that a) he was scammed by Anna and b) he's going to be eating those words soon.

    A man and a woman discussing Anna over cocktails
    Netflix

    Me! I am interested in Anna Delvey! 

    One thing you can say about Shonda is the sis TAKES CARE OF HER OWN!

    Closeups of characters in Inventing Anna who are also in other Shondaland shows
    Netflix / ABC

    Kate Burton (who appeared in Grey's Anatomy and Scandal), Chris Lowell (who appeared in Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice), and Debra Mooney (who appeared in Grey's Anatomy and Scandal) are a few other actors who appear in the Shonda Rhimes Cinematic Universe. 

    It would make 100% more sense — based on her accent — that she would be Russian.

    Vivian pitching the Anna Delvey story to her bosses
    Netflix

    Why are they not letting Vivian (played by Anna Chlumsky) report on this? THIS IS THE CONTENT WE WANT AND NEED! 

    (Writer's note: Hi, it's me from the future again! Can confirm that the question of her accent is no longer an issue because the narrative got too riveting.) 

    They told Vivian she couldn't report and she was like, "I don't answer to the man!"

    Vivian taking notes during Anna's bail hearing
    Netflix

    I mean, thank goodness the journalist this character is based on went out to cover this story, or else we'd have nothing to watch!

    This is what I call an ANGLE! Let Anna speak!

    Vivian accosting Anna's lawyer outside the courthouse
    Netflix

    I mean, the lawyer turned her down for an interview with Anna, but I have a feeling Vivian is going to get the scoop...

    I'm not sure what "Fortress" is — maybe 'cause I'm a poor — but this is only adding to my Anna Intrigue™:

    Vivian talking to her husband about Anna's prowess
    Netflix

    Not to remove us from this saga, but I didn't know Anders Holm was in this series — he plays Vivian's husband — and I love him, so I cannot wait to see more of him. 

    OK, Vivian went around Anna's lawyer's back and wrote her a good ol' fashioned letter — which Anna responded to! Our characters are about to meet.

    Vivian meeting Anna in prison
    Netflix

    Am I sensing...a sisterhood? I'm living for this soon-to-be dynamic duo. 

    We love a discourse:

    Anna's lawyer talking to the prosecutor on the case in Central Park
    Netflix

    The "Bling Ring" could never. 

    I BELIEVE HER!! #FREEANNA!

    Anna pleading with Vivian about her innocence
    Netflix

    The sound that just came out of my mouth...

    Anna asking about Vivian's pregnancy status
    Netflix

    OK, this MAN pushing Vivian to do a #MeToo story that involves re-traumatizing survivors who aren't ready to share their story...when ANNA THE CONQUEROR IS RIGHT THERE?? Fire him and put Vivian in charge:

    Anna saying that she's not going to write an article
    Netflix

    Seriously, what does this Paul (played by Tim Guinee) dude have against Vivian and why won't he let her write this story??? Or listen to her input as a woman on a story about women's issues??? 

    OK, so there is something between Vivian and Paul...

    Vivian talking to her Editor in Chief
    Netflix

    Cannot wait to find out what their history is!

    VIVIAN, WHAT DID YOU DO?? Whatever you did, it was in the past and I'm on your side! #FREEVIVIAN!

    Vivian confiding in her husband about her woes at work
    Netflix

    I blame Paul. 

    I like this girl. Any friend of Anna's is a friend of mine:

    A housekeeper talking about how Anna is a legend
    Netflix

    I feel like we're not done with this girl quite yet... 

    Social media is going to crack this case:

    A closeup of Kacy and Rachel in an IG post with Anna
    Netflix

    After digging, Vivian found out that Anna was a million different Annas to a million different people. 

    I know Anna is supposed to be the villain, but I have no choice but to stan:

    Anna critiquing Vivian's wardrobe
    Netflix

    Somehow...her saying this while wearing a prison jumpsuit makes it hurt even more. 

    Anna just summed up her entire ethos in a nutshell:

    Anna leaving Vivian with parting words about living the VIP life
    Netflix

    *Sashay away* 

    Like, I *know* this isn't the end of our Anna Saga, but I don't like roadblocks!

    Anna's lawyer, Todd, telling Vivian that Anna doesn't want to interview
    Netflix

    Also, Imma say it...I really do not care about the life of this lawyer. Like, at all. Give me more Anna and Vivian!

    I know the bar for men is on the floor, but Vivian's husband, Jack, is setting the bar at mid-tier!

    Vivian's husband helping her put her shoes on at the OBGYN
    Netflix

    Vivian isn't down for the count, y'all! And just like that, she found a lead:

    Neff looking at a photo of her and Anna
    Netflix

    Didn't fraternize with the guests, my ASS! I knew she was gonna come back into the fold! 

    It's giving:

    Vivian's "Anna Wall" next to a meme of Charlie's "Crime Wall" in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
    Netflix / FXX

    OK, who are these two women? Because it seems like they're the key to blowing this popsicle stand wide open:

    Vivian showing Neff a photo of her, Anna, Kacy, and Rachel
    Netflix

    Power ranking of my fave characters thus far: 1) Neff 2) Anna 3) Vivian's husband, Jack 4) Vivian:

    Neff checking Vivian's attitude
    Netflix

    Second-to-last: Anna's lawyer, Todd. 

    Dead last: Paul. 

    WELCOME TO THE VIP, BITCHES!

    Vivian sitting across from Anna while drinking tea
    Netflix

    Looks like Vivian took Neff's advice and decided to step up her game to win over Anna and get the chance to tell her story AND restore her journalistic reputation! (Don't know why it was ruined to begin with, but that's for a later episode!)

    *Speechless*

    Vivian telling Anna she doesn't have to "like" her, but that she'll write a damn good story
    Netflix

    YOU TELL 'EM, SIS!! #FREEANNA!

    Anna telling her lawyer that they will be going to trial
    Netflix

    "She wants a trial, so we're going to trial." 

    I can tell you right now, I am now one of those people:

    Anna laying in her prison cell
    Netflix

    I can't believe there was ever a time when I didn't know the name Anna Delvey. 

    Y'all. Y'ALL! I am SUCKED INTO THIS SAGA! Like, I need to know everything there is to know about Anna Delvey and her ~alleged~ crimes. Needless to say, I will be watching the rest of the series, and by the time you read this, there's a chance I will have already binged the entire thing! TL;DR: If you're a messy bitch who lives for the drama, then this is the show for you!!!

    Netflix