It seems like only a week ago "berries and cream" TikTok was an endless void that we couldn't escape.

Well alas, I'm yearning for the simpler times of the little lad who loves berries and cream, because now I am stuck in the hellscape that is "couch guy" TikTok.

I, along with many other gen-zennials, consider myself somewhat of a social media sleuth™. However, you don't need 20/20 vision to see that something SUS is happening on this couch:

The main point of contention is this moment on the couch when Robbie does some sleight-of-hand action to retrieve his cellphone from one of these couch girls:

Since then, the internet has run WILD and RAMPANT with their theories, most of them agreeing that couch boy is not worthy of Lauren's love and affection:

You know things are messy when CELEBRITIES AND BRANDS ARE GETTING INVOLVED!
![Trojan Brand Condoms commented "What are those colored foils on the table [side eye emoji]](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2021-10/4/17/asset/927c392fe7bd/sub-buzz-2820-1633370318-4.png)
Like, if the mighty fine Rome Flynn (who you may know from How to Get Away with Murder or Dear White People) is in your comments, you better dump your bf and HIT HIM UP!

But still, the jokes reign supreme:

In a turn of events, #couchguy issued a TikTok press release about his behavior:

And Lauren commented on her original video, defending their relationship:
![Lauren said "as for the phone comment, his phone was in his lap :) thanks for the concern though! an no i'm not in denial [heart emoji]](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2021-10/4/20/asset/764d2840cf7c/sub-buzz-3043-1633378648-12.png)
You know you're a true trend when you've transcended social media platforms:
I’m on couch guy tiktok but I’ve never seen the actual couch guy tiktok.
IM DEAD TINDER WANTS TO GIVE COUCH GUYS GF TINDER GOLD 😂💀
couch guy in about a month or so:
i need a full docuseries about the night of the girl surprising couch guy and if u dont know what im saying just keep scrolling
me tryna explain the couch guy tiktok scandal to ppl who aren’t chronically online
Next season on Dancing With The Stars, -Couch Guy-
Literally just got served 5 couch guy tiktoks in a row … has anyone checked on that poor girl?
Looks like we're here for a long time, but not a good time:
If you need me, I’ll be living my best life scrolling through “couch guy” slander TikTok for the rest of the day.