Hello. It me. Casual Harry Potter fan who thinks way too much about things. I recently rewatched the series, and now I have WAY TOO MANY logistical questions about being a teen in a very fantastical world that doesn't actually exist.
1.For starters, is there driver's ed, but for broom sticks? Or was their one class with Madame Hooch all they got?
2.What's the deal with transpo in the HP universe? I get that they have Floo powder and can Apparate, but shouldn't they learn how to drive for when they're in the Muggle world / board a train without running through a brick wall?
3.What is the legal drinking age? 'Cause I remember them knocking back Butterbeers in Order of the Phoenix like it was their job.
4.What's the hip wizard weed they're smoking over there? Is there a dispensary in Hogsmeade?
5.Is there a spell for getting over a break-up?
6.Could you transfer out of a class if one was lame? Like, what if you just weren't feeling Herbology 101?
7.What's the O.W.L. prep like? Is it similar to SAT prep? Do they have tutors? Do wizard parents bribe test takers to give their kids better scores?
8.Speaking of SATs, are there post-graduate options for students? Like college or grad school?
9.Are there any sex ed or home ec classes? Just because you're wizard doesn't mean you're automatically a functioning adult.
10.Is being a wizard a genetic mutation? Are they basically X-Men in training?
11.Did they have letterman robes for students who played varsity Quidditch? Also...any other sports at Hogwarts, or nah?
12.What if you weren't into sports? Did they have theater for the ~artsy~ kids? Who's their iconic wizard playwright? Who's their Shakespeare?
13.Is there a spell to remove all symptoms of PMS?
14.Did Hogwarts have any guidance counselors or prioritize the mental health of their students? Say for a kid who, IDK, happens to be the chosen one and wants to talk to a licensed professional about it?
15.Is wizard makeup different from Muggle makeup? Is there a spell to keep your foundation looking flawless all day?
16.Was the Triwizard Tournament the only time that they socialized with other schools?
17.Also, like, no prom? Was the Yule Ball really all they had?
18.Why weren't they all drop dead gorgeous? Don't get me wrong, they were cute, but if you could, why wouldn't you magically transform into a certified 10?
19.Did they have wizarding social media? Say someone did something annoying as hell during Potions class, could you subtweet them?
Yeah, I know that these questions seem a tad trivial in light of what the wizards and witches of Hogwarts had going on in their lives, like defeating evil and saving the world, but as someone who's gone through puberty, I can't help but be curious!