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22 Things Southerners Learn When They Visit The North

It's not exactly the same, believe it or not.

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1. Football is incredibly important.

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For example, in Liverpool you can choose between Liverpool, Everton, Tranmere Rovers, or exile.

2. People walk everywhere.

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And with views like this, you can see why.

3. Hills are often higher than 20 foot.

They also have really tall hills called mountains up north. These are real. They are not a thing someone made up to sell fleeces.
Flickr: gerardstolk / Creative Commons

They also have really tall hills called mountains up north. These are real. They are not a thing someone made up to sell fleeces.

4. They also have really big ponds, called lakes.

There are some lakes in the south but, come on, look at that thing: It's massive. You could put Margate in it.
Flickr: vossitch / Creative Commons

There are some lakes in the south but, come on, look at that thing: It's massive. You could put Margate in it.

5. Nowhere is where you thought it was.

Sony Music Entertainment / Via Giphy.com

Most of the cities in the north are in a straight line across the bottom. Then there's a massive gap, where the hills and the lakes are, and then everything else is tucked into the top right. Also, apparently, the cities at the bottom aren't technically the north.

6. Drinks are mind-bogglingly cheap.

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So it'd be foolish not to drink all of them.

7. And so is property.

This'll probably set you back about the same as a studio flat in Brockley. BROCKLEY.
Flickr: amgreen / Creative Commons

This'll probably set you back about the same as a studio flat in Brockley. BROCKLEY.

8. There is no business that cannot be encased in a red-brick building.

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9. Liverpool still really cares about The Beatles.

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There's a museum, a hotel, a painstakingly restored gig venue, and an annual weekend-long multi-stage festival made up almost entirely of Beatles cover bands.

10. It always looks like it just rained in Manchester.

Flickr: Man Alive! / Creative Commons

11. Blackpool has looked the same for years.

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Even long after the apocalypse, Blackpool will probably still look EXACTLY like this.

12. The Geordie accent is impossible to understand.

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If you go full Dances With Wolves you might pick up the odd word after six months.

13. Biologically, Chester is half Zebra.

As well as a quarter castle and, naturally, a quarter red-brick. NAUGHTY zebra.
Flickr: chaymation / Creative Commons

As well as a quarter castle and, naturally, a quarter red-brick. NAUGHTY zebra.

14. There are a thousand small villages and they all have a Boots.

A Boots, and a pub, and a chippy. And a mini roundabout.
Flickr: rossendalewadey / Creative Commons

A Boots, and a pub, and a chippy. And a mini roundabout.

15. IT RAINS SO MUCH.

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Whenever you most expect it, and whenever you least need it, it'll be there. Again. Ugh.

16. But confusingly, no one wears coats on nights out.

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No matter how cold it gets.

17. The definition of "cake" is incredibly loose.

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Almost anything can be a cake, even what seems to be a chunk from a glacier made of mint and sugar.

18. Fish and chips and gravy is actually a thing that people do.

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As well as liberally sprinkling the fish with more bits of batter. It's pretty intense.

19. There's no such thing as too much pastry.

Think of all the pastry in the world. Double it. Still not enough. More. Pastry. Yes.
Flickr: rooreynolds / Creative Commons

Think of all the pastry in the world. Double it. Still not enough. More. Pastry. Yes.

20. People genuinely are more friendly up north.

Screen Gems / Via Giphy.com

Not a fan of hugs? You'll learn.

21. Which means you might actually befriend a stranger.

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Strangers are, obviously, terrible. But it can happen by accident sometimes.

22. Is it better than the south? Yeah, it probably is.

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That'll do, the north. That'll do.