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    • Dumily

      Homer, I don’t know where to begin to tell you what’s wrong with this one.
      1.) As has been stated previously, if you were genuinely surprised that Obama won, you were not paying attention.
      2.) Surprisingly on this one, I agree with you. Regan was a shitty president. Obama so far has been decent.
      3.) Hi, kettle? Yeah, it’s Monica. You’re black.
      4.) Actually, http://www.uvm.edu/~vlrs/doc/min_wage.htm
      5.) Actually, http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/jan/09/worst-effects-austerity-disability-charity
      6.) And actually, http://www.forbes.com/sites/rickungar/2012/05/24/who-is-the-smallest-government-spender-since-eisenhower-would-you-believe-its-barack-obama/
      7.) What do you mean by this exactly? Is this a sever case of the Rove’s? Because you know that Obama was elected and sworn in as president twice already, right? Fetch has happened.
      8.)This could explain how you would be unaware that Obama was going to win the election. You openly admit that you refuse to follow political events, but still want us to take this “article” seriously?
      9.) Defriend them. It’ll best for the both of you.
      10.) See #2.
      11 and 12.) So you feel like the kickass captain of a star ship, but you want to feel like a guy who play make believe in his underpants? Dude, Picard > The Miz.
      13.) Like what? Do you mean the initial stimulus bill that conservatives have been trying to distance themselves from since it was implemented?
      12.)Arguing that we shouldn’t abandon our elderly, poor, sick and handicapped is not the same as pretending that we don’t have a spending problem. Disagreeing about what needs to be cut from the budget is not the same as saying that the budget is in great shape.
      13 and 14.) Really? I mean, that. Really? Conservatives are the only people who have read the Constitution? You get to claim dibs on the Bible and the Constitution?
      15.) Another one we agree on. Except you see yourself as a beacon of freedom, putting your life on the line to defend America. And I see you as a dumbass in a costume who almost blew his balls off.
      16.) Only liberals believe the government is the best equipped body to respond to specific problems. Which is why conservatives are clamoring to reduce the military budget.
      17.) This doesn’t mean anything.
      18.) The president cannot raise taxes. Congress passes a law to increase or decrease tax rates. The president can only sign or veto laws. Obama did not raise your taxes.
      19.) Given the way conservatives had their asses handed to them in 2008 and 2012, I hope they can put forth a viable candidate in 3 years. Someone who has responded to the social changes in the US in the past 8 years. Someone who acknowledges that most people view laws against same- sex marriage are discriminatory and illegal. Someone who recognizes that the quickly growing minority population is going to have a profound effect on how the country reforms immigration laws, wage laws, health care benefits and the role of the social safety net over the next decades. Someone who believes that we need to protect ourselves from foreign enemies while simultaneously scaling back a bloated military budget. Someone who wants to find a middle ground between allowing business to grow and flourish while not making that growth at the expense of the average citizen. Someone who knows that 98% of women have used birth control, and we would like to keep the government out of any future decisions on if or when we get pregnant. Fuck man, let’s be honest here. You need a conservative who sounds a lot like Barak Obama.

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