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13 Things You'll Need For An American Triumph At The World Cup
If we're going to riot in the streets of all of our settlements, coast to coast, we should be prepared.
This American flag and pole
This all-American sweatshirt
This highly patriotic polo shirt
This Star-Spangled bikini
This USA Scarf
These George Washington-approved tights
These American-made American suspenders
This American banana muscle shirt
These sunglasses that are surely Bill O'Reilly-approved
These cowboy boots for the truly committed patriot
This bow tie that leaves no doubt as to your favorite nation
This complete Uncle Sam costume
And this ukulele, which is a real thing that exists
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