2. You’re not sure what’s so special about a 45-minute wait to eat a meal that costs too much.
3. Getting all dolled up to impress someone else seems a ridiculous waste of your time.
Wouldn’t it be more fun to wear matching sweat pants and catch up on The Walking Dead?
4. It feels wrong to you that people pluck unsuspecting flowers to give as gifts.
Why? To watch it wither and die in a vase?
6. Sharing a bed seems more like an invasion of your personal space than a good time..
EVERY SIDE OF THE BED IS YOUR SIDE.
7. In your vernacular, “breakfast in bed” translates to “crumbs in sheets.”
12. More thought has gone into your honeymoon than your actual wedding.
Traveling to exotic locations > suffering through a needlessly drawn-out ceremony.
13. You wonder if people get ear sweat during two hour “I miss you” telephone conversations.
14. So you’re supposed to spend all of your hard-earned cash to take someone else out? Does not compute.
15. You firmly believe that PDA is TMI.
18. Receiving a mixtape/playlist means pretending to like songs you would never suffer through on your own.
19. In your opinion, a long walk on the beach sounds exhausting and messy.
21. Each romance novel or relationship help book you read incites several eye rolls.
So much for research.
23. Honestly, the only romantic gesture you understand is the chocolatey kind.
Now THIS is love.
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