1. When you played "house" as a kid, you were always the pet. Or the single, wealthy aunt. Universal Pictures / Via weheartit.com 2. You're not sure what's so special about a 45-minute wait to eat a meal that costs too much. Warner Home Video 3. Getting all dolled up to impress someone else seems a ridiculous waste of your time. AMC Wouldn't it be more fun to wear matching sweat pants and catch up on The Walking Dead? 4. It feels wrong to you that people pluck unsuspecting flowers to give as gifts. HBO Why? To watch it wither and die in a vase? 5. To you, being swept off your feet sounds like a dangerous activity best left to professionals. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Vestron Pictures / Via mlle-leelee.tumblr.com 6. Sharing a bed seems more like an invasion of your personal space than a good time.. Screenvision EVERY SIDE OF THE BED IS YOUR SIDE. 7. In your vernacular, "breakfast in bed" translates to "crumbs in sheets." ABC 8. Someone throwing rocks at your window isn't romantic. It's an accident waiting to happen. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF New Yorker Films / Via dudy.fr 9. Being serenaded sounds embarrassing and awful for everyone involved. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Universal Pictures / Via youtube.com Unless J.T. himself is singing to you, you're not interested. 10. It is beyond your comprehension how people can come up with so many obnoxious pet names. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF CBS / TriStar Television / Via wifflegif.com 11. You notice that most love letters are riddled with grammatical errors. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Columbia Pictures / Via seriously-kidding.tumblr.com 12. More thought has gone into your honeymoon than your actual wedding. Walt Disney Traveling to exotic locations > suffering through a needlessly drawn-out ceremony. 13. You wonder if people get ear sweat during two hour "I miss you" telephone conversations. HBO 14. So you're supposed to spend all of your hard-earned cash to take someone else out? Does not compute. AMC 15. You firmly believe that PDA is TMI. Warner Bros. / CW 16. Anytime someone opens a door for you, you suspect foul play. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF AMC / Via sparklymorons.com 17. It doesn't seem logical to you to share your innermost feelings with someone you haven't known long. ABC / Via amatteroftiming.tumblr.com 18. Receiving a mixtape/playlist means pretending to like songs you would never suffer through on your own. HBO 19. In your opinion, a long walk on the beach sounds exhausting and messy. The Disney Channel 20. Your solo dance moves are on point. A partner would just muck up the works. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF NBC / Warner Bros / Via whatculture.com 21. Each romance novel or relationship help book you read incites several eye rolls. Screengems So much for research. 22. You have a few serious, scientific questions about love but no one can answer them. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF HBO / Via theempressofdress.com 23. Honestly, the only romantic gesture you understand is the chocolatey kind. Miramax Films Now THIS is love.