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1. A New York Times Bestseller about why we sleep, because well-informed sleep is the best type.
2. An alarm clock that simulates a rising sun so you can start your day with your own personal sunrise.
3. A notebook worthy of The Sandman to get all those books with the words "I can't sleep" on every page out of your head. Plus, journaling about your anxieties is a good way to limit their meddling with your bedtime, and recording your dreams will foster creativity in waking hours.
4. A sheet of LED-dimming stickers for anyone who's considered escaping to the woods just to get away from those blinking blue lights for a night.
5. A pressure-relieving memory foam mattress to make you consider spending more than 30% of your life in bed.
6. Or a memory foam mattress topper you can slap atop any ol' mattress and instantly be in the bedtime business.
7. A collapsible water bottle that will keep your from napping and let you focus on The Big Sleeps, because you're probably more dehydrated than tired.
8. And an extra-thick yoga mat so you can sweat out anxiety instead of sweating your bedtime.
9. A weighted blanket that'll be like an all-night hug for your entire body.
10. A tea for promoting restful sleep to turn your teatime into "T-minus five minutes to sleep" time, all systems go.
11. A contoured eye mask (aka it doesn't press down on your eyelids!) you can wear to reinvent yourself as a Sleep Superhero. "Who could it be, under the mask? I don't know. Turn that light off, on your way out."
12. A soothing aromatherapy mist to spray on your pillow, so you can breathe in lavender while you're drifting to sleep.
13. A memory foam pillow you might actually lose sleep over, once your bed partner discovers how comfortable it is and tries to steal it every night.
14. A white noise machine to cover up the sounds of your elderly neighbors blasting Antiques Roadshow reruns and help you take back the night.
15. A set of blackout curtains for keeping that damn sunlight outside your house where it belongs.
16. A travel pillow to turn an airplane cabin in your Nap Chamber, because vacations are all about getting rest, right?
17. An essential oil diffuser that'll double as a humidifier, because sniffling through the night doesn't make for a good morning.
18. A noise-free platform frame for anyone who's been rustled out of a magnificent slumber by an ~amateur snoozer~ rolling into bed late.
19. A set of satiny pajamas so you can dress for the job you really want: Professional Catnapper.
20. A pet bed for big woofers or a bed for small burrowers for when you've got a pupper who doesn't know how to share the covers.
21. And a pair of fuzzy doggo socks to keep a barky-baby near your ankles, even when they're sleeping in their own bed.
22. A chocolate melatonin supplement, the perfect appetizer for a whole night of dreaming about chocolate.
23. A bag of lavender bath salts to get your aching bones and Big Buff Muscles ready for rest.
24. A hypoallergenic mattress cover so you can limit the accumulation of dust and dander on your mattress and lose less sleep to your allergies.
25. And a queen-sized rollup futon, because a firm, humble night of a sleep is the zen way to keep ~grounded~.
Is it time to wake up yet?
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