To the cheap, poor, middle class members of society or in other words college graduates, the economy always seems to be on the decline. So we have constructed four ways to live below your means and save your money as Sallie Mae chops away at your paycheck.
You might see a few things on this list that are a little unordinary but just hear me out. Although, if you are already performing these techniques then I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit worried.
Shop on Craigslist
C'mon you know you have and if you haven't then you don't know what you're missing! If you aren't aware, Craigslist is some sort of free website with a very select audience – creeps or scavengers. Whichever audience you choose to affiliate with you are guaranteed to find what you're looking for. Who wants to spend money courting their women in 2014? NO ONE. There's nothing wrong with taking your significant other out on a date every now and then but wouldn't it be easier just to shop on Craigslist for available singles. This way you can just skip dinner and pay her when she leaves in the morning (depending on your negotiation skills). But if you aren't a pervert you can do what regular people do and shop for your furniture on Craigslist, it's like a virtual Ikea. The process is pretty simple actually, choose the couch or desk you like, email the seller, and go to the meet-up site equipped with a weapon just in case.
Keep an eye on the deals, the marketplace on Craigslist is like a year round Black Friday. You have to be quick on your fingers, studies show there is some type of connection between chronic masturbation and Craigslist shopping. Package deals are huge on the site; if you see a baby carriage with the option of an actual baby, take it! What's better than a free human with its own transportation device?
Get Married
If 40 year old single women have figured this out by now then why haven't you? Don't waste your time marrying rich that requires effort and resources we don't have, just get married. Of course, to state the obvious, do it because of tax purposes and that alone is why I am contemplating tying the knot. But let's get to the real reasons why you single people fail to recognize that marriage is the way out. Marriage is literally like living with a glorified maid and that goes for men and women. Think about it this way, your husband or wife is legally bound to the mission of keeping you happy. If you decide to do the logical thing of getting a job then they can keep an eye on your Craigslist baby. Don't forget the clause in every marriage contract called The Spousal Scapegoat. You now have the option of putting all your legal troubles in the name of someone else - this is the equivalent of diplomatic community, use it wisely. Using this clause the wrong way or excessively can result in a divorce…then jail time and that might not be so bad but I'll get to that later.
Become a Computer Scientist
Becoming a Computer Scientist for all the wrong reasons seems rather counterproductive with your goal of avoiding work while somehow saving on your nonexistent revenue stream. But where this method lacks in logic it makes up for in fun, use your new skills to save on household utilities. It's pretty simple when you really think about it, lose the morals and gain a world of access. In this new generation you need to learn to thrive on the loopholes of technological advancement. With a coding skillset the opportunities are endless. You can hack your neighbor's router and save at least $50 per month on internet, don't ask me how I know that. Cable is a little harder I'd advise amateurs to stay away from this stunt; some people get mad when you want to DVR one To Catch a Predator episode.
Go to Jail
If you're Black, then stop reading now. Man Law #897 – You don't have to be politically correct when you are a member of the referenced race. Going to jail is the quickest way to find housing, if need be, which leads me into my theory that all homeless people have ethics. But let's not think about the name, so many people hang their goals on names. What if I told you I knew of a place where they would give you three meals a day, matching clothes, a bed, a room, a protective group of friends, and all you have to do is act out your character on Grand Theft Auto? Look, I'm not saying you have to do anything substantial but a little corner store robbery could buy you three years. If you aren't the traveling type and you want a free high school education then someone has to die. On the bright side you get to save money working in mail room for 50 cents per day, low pay, but you are saving nonetheless.
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