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The Curse Of Loving Passively

Some people think passive people are weak and afraid, the truth is some times we just hope you come to your muthaf$%&ing senses. Like what grade are we in.

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I'd like to think that I'm the best thing since sliced bread or the invention of the DVR but I'm not. I think my failed relationships are proof of this. I do think the fellas appreciate me afterward though and it's most likely because when they started dating again they were quickly reminded what non-passive love is like. They were nagged and corrected. They were cursed out and ultimatumed (I know that's not even a real word). They were told how wrong they are and are held accountable for their lapses in judgment real time......the mirror that was held before them didn't materialize out of the blue it was handed to them and then remained in their face.

While love with me was easy, for a lack of a better word, I'm pretty sure it was unhealthy. When I say "easy", mean easy as in full of allowances. Like I believed that he's only human, that's what makes him tick and who am I to tell him he's not "ticking" right". This permitted and promoted malfunction and dysfunction at its best. I allowed the boundary-less to embark into the unacceptable unknown. I went on to allow those fearful of commitment convince me that they were weren't afraid they were new age thinkers (more bull$hit). I cheated them out of some growth, but I'm sure it all worked out to teach the something else, whatever that may be.

Anyway, ultimately and more importantly I realized that I "allowed" them because by doing so I gave me permission to be mediocre. I gave myself the opportunity to run when I was afraid. It also allowed me to not deal with real feelings....yeah feelings, the thing that makes us human. YUCK!! So, somewhere under my swarthy smooth acceptance and permissive passivity I let them run wild and I hid under their chaos. If you are in a relationship with someone you love and you see they don't question your actions or intentions they chances are they aren't giving you their all and they don't feel comfortable asking you for your all. This doesn't mean that they are cheating it merely means they are afraid and you and your behavior may make them more fearful.

I guess what I'm really getting at is for the passive people...... It really is okay to ask questions and disapprove of some things. If someone makes you feel like they don't need accountability, then you already know that they don't need you, your love, or a relationship for that matter. My passive loves, SPEAK UP. You count, your feelings count, your dreams counts, your comfort counts, and most importantly your love is priceless and should come with requirements.

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