You know Elizabeth Warren: she's a Massachusetts senator and one of the Democratic candidates running for president in 2020.
And in light of the first Democratic presidential debates held this week, people have been taking to Twitter to make some honestly wholesome jokes about how Elizabeth Warren always knows exactly what to do:
@ashleyn1cole DM me and letβs figure this out.
Including giving dating advice!
1. As the joke goes, she never goes over time:
Elizabeth Warren has never gone over her allotted time at a conference. Not even once.
2. She'd rather just email you guys:
Elizabeth Warren doesnβt make everyone attend a meeting for business that can get done over email. https://t.co/6epxWxOGAx
3. She supports local businesses:
Elizabeth Warren always buys lemonade from her local lemonade stand and ALWAYS tips. π #demdebate https://t.co/DUSQ6toLCV
4. She knows her order:
Elizabeth Warren always knows exactly what she wants when she gets to the front of the Starbucks line and never holds everyone else up. https://t.co/rUilaDcbuz
5. She doesn't take forever at the bar...
Elizabeth Warren has never asked a bartender βwhat whiskeys do you have?β Sheβs already checked the shelf. https://t.co/En8zSSh6rq
6. Or at the register:
Elizabeth Warren already has her wallet out when itβs time to pay. Sheβs never gonna hold everyone up. https://t.co/cb3a6GUgXq
7. She doesn't crowd you on the sidewalk...
Elizabeth Warren never takes up too much space on the sidewalk or the subway. She checks her own privilege and shares public space. https://t.co/Q15pYVpWEL
8. Or on a flight:
@ashleyn1cole Elizabeth Warren shares the armrest on airplanes.
9. Speaking of flights, she knows the proper protocol:
@PhD_femme @triciamatthew @historianess Elizabeth Warren always puts on her oxygen mask first.
10. She knows how to handle a Q&A session correctly:
@MamaH2000 @triciamatthew Elizabeth Warren never has a question that is more of comment.
11. Her phone is never not fully charged:
@ashleyn1cole Elizabeth Warrenβs phone screenshots always show her phone battery at 100%
12. And she is always down to help a fellow shopper out:
@ashleyn1cole Elizabeth Warren definitely gives you her cart at Aldiβs and tells you to save your quarter.
13. She is that friend who will drive you to LAX, probably:
@ashleyn1cole Elizabeth Warren always drives you to the airport and waits with you until you have to go through security.
14. She is a consummate house guest:
@ashleyn1cole Elizabeth Warren takes her shoes off in stranger's homes, and brings good potato salad to the potluck.
15. And she remembers everyone's birthdays:
@ashleyn1cole Elizabeth Warren is the aunt that never forgets to send you a birthday card with some cash in it. Even when youβre in your 40s
16. She knows how to tip correctly:
@ashleyn1cole Elizabeth Warren opens the door as the pizza delivery guy is approaching and tips thirty percent. In cash.
17. And she's got you covered for that last-minute homework assignment:
@amandadeibert Elizabeth Warren already had poster board, no need to hit Walgreen's at 9pm:)
18. She knows proper cash register etiquette:
@amandadeibert Elizabeth Warren puts her change directly into the cashiers hand instead of on the counter.
19. And just generally knows the rules for being in the checkout line:
@MerrillBarr Elizabeth Warren never gets to close to the person in front of her at the grocery checkout line. She knows to allow them to finish their transaction first.
20. She gets along great with your pets:
@AlishaGrauso Elizabeth Warren always remembers your dogβs name.
21. And she always reads her emails:
@triciamatthew Elizabeth Warren has never asked a question that was addressed in a previous email.
22. If she has to borrow your toothpaste, you don't have to worry:
@MerrillBarr Elizabeth Warren never squeezes toothpaste from the middle of the tube
23. And you'll never be caught off guard if you're driving behind her:
@MerrillBarr Elizabeth Warren ALWAYS uses her turn signal, even when itβs late and no one else is around.
24. She follows the rules of Chipotle conduct:
@KosokoJackson Elizabeth Warren knows guac is extra, but appreciates the friendly reminder.
25. And rest assured, she'll never be that customer.
@ashleyn1cole Elizabeth Warren does not want to speak to your manager, ever.
26. Or that person who doesn't know how to do their taxes. In fact...
@amandadeibert Elizabeth Warren does her accountantβs taxes.
27. And just in general, she's got a plan for almost literally everything.
@prof_gabriele Hand sanitizer kills 99% of germs but Elizabeth Warren has a plan for the remaining 1%.
In closing: presidential campaign season is stressful for just about everyone, but at least we've got some p. good jokes, right??
