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Posted on Oct 26, 2017

I'm Very Sorry, Sweetie, But I Won't Let You Finish Your Day Until You See Mario's Penis

It's-a me, Mario, and here's my dick.

We all know Mario, the lovable plumber who rescues princesses and climbs through pipes.


Recently we learned that our overall-sporting hero has nipples, but guess what, y'all? Now we know what Mario's dick looks like too.


Yeah, you read that right. As writer Luke Plunkett recently pointed out for Kotaku, there was a series of officially licensed comics about Mario and the Mushroom Kingdom that came out between 1988 and 1998.

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And it was here in the first issue, Super Mario Land #1, that Mario's dick made its debut. So let's set the stage, shall we? Mario is just chilling and talking with a robot when suddenly a fish carcass comes out of the water and bites his ass.

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The bite is so strong it sends Mario flying out of his overalls, and that, my dearest friends, is when we see Mario butt-ass naked with his whole package out in the open.

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Mamma mia! It's-a penis!

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Is that a Goomba in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Remember how on the Super Mario 64 title screen you could stretch out Mario's face?

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What if you could do the same thing, but with Mario's...meatballs.

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Okay, I'm done, but have fun not being able to unsee this dick!

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