28 Things Only People Who Work On Christmas Day Know To Be True
Enjoy your turkey, I'll just be at the desk keeping capitalism afloat.
Around the start of December, you begin to anxiously await the arrival of your work rota covering the last two weeks of the month.
If you're a shift worker, your boss will send many emails imploring you to be "flexible" over the Christmas period.
You will get many passive-aggressive, guilt-inducing pleas from those colleagues who have children, asking if the single/childless will cover for them on the Christmas Day shift.
You will grapple with the temptation of extra money or time off in lieu for volunteering to work.
Whether you're working by design or circumstance, you will still end up resenting your rota for Christmas week.
And if you are management, there's simply no nice or easy way to break the news to staff that they will be working.
Still, at least bosses will have a good threat to use against workers for the whole season.
Telling your mum you won't be home for Christmas never gets any easier.
And best of luck explaining to the children in your life why you won't be around on Christmas morning.
As word spreads in your social circle that you have to work Christmas, you'll constantly be asked: "Why didn't you just book the time off?" To which there is only one response.
Christmas-delirious friends try unconvincingly to be sympathetic.
Christmas Eve is inevitably a bit of a downer, knowing you have to be up early the next morning to work.
And no matter how stoic you've been in the buildup, you will feel VERY sorry for yourself on Christmas morning.
You momentarily consider pulling a sickie, but you buck up and decide against it.
You must meticulously research and plan your journey to the office, as public transport basically shuts down, because, y'know, IT'S CHRISTMAS.
But if you're lucky, your generous company will ease the pain by arranging transport to and from work.
It can be hard concentrating in work at the best of times, let alone on Christmas Day, so you have to summon all your will.
However, with the building half-deserted, this is the day to do all the things you've ever dreamed of doing around the office.
It can be a chore to tolerate that one co-worker who has gotten that bit too much into the festive spirit.
Speaking of spirits, drinking in the office is deemed acceptable on Christmas Day.
Just be careful the drinking-at-work thing doesn't end up like this.
And if your workplace doesn't condone workplace Christmas drinking, you must learn to improvise.
Your patience will be very limited on the day, so clients/customers/colleagues/technology better beware.
Your dining options at work will be severely restricted.
So it's vital to bring your own supplies (preferably of the sweet, comforting kind).
You'll struggle to feel festive when you see pictures of your friends' massive Christmas lunches all over your social media feeds.
By the time you finish work, you will definitely be ready for your Christmas dinner.
And if you're lucky, you'll have loved ones ready to celebrate the holiday with you, regardless of when your Christmas Day fun can properly begin.
After your second helping of turkey, and a few glasses of wine, you vow that next Christmas, everything will be different.
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