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No, Australia Won't Pay For Your Prostitutes So Please Stop Asking

The Australian government has released a list of odd requests its embassies have received, as part of an effort to crack down on annoying travelers.

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Andrew Wiseman (Creative Commons) / Via Flickr: awiseman

Australians love to travel abroad, with the number of Aussies holidaying overseas rising each year. But all this international jet-setting means extra work for beleaguered staff at Australia's embassies, who have had it up to here with the number of inane requests they receive each year.

Australia's foreign minister has announced a new strategy to deal with the 15,000 Aussies who request their help from abroad each year. "The Strategy emphasizes priority to those Australians in the most difficult circumstances," Foreign Minister Julie Bishop said in a statement. "It also emphasizes there must be less latitude to the small minority who have unreasonable demands of consular assistance or whose actions are willfully reckless."

To illustrate these "unreasonable demands", the Australian Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade has sent BuzzFeed News a list containing the most bizarre, and yet totally real, things ever requested of embassy officials.

So, to be clear: No, the Australian government will not feed your dogs for you while you're on holidays.

Getty Images John Howard

No, Australia's embassy in Bangkok will not loan you money if you arrive with a sex worker who needs to be paid for services rendered.

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No, Australian embassies can not give you tips on good pubs in which to watch rugby games.

Getty Images/iStockphoto Denis Raev

No, Australian government officials will not come and pack your bags for you, even if you are an elderly man traveling by yourself.

Getty Images/iStockphoto Jacob Wackerhausen

No, Australian diplomats can't advise you on the best way to get a polecat out of your roof.

Getty Images/iStockphoto MaaraJuberte

No, the Australian Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade does not know what the food on your cruise will be like.

Getty Images/Purestock Purestock

And finally, no, the Foreign Minister and her staff cannot give you tips on the best hotels in which to stay in Thailand.

Getty Images/iStockphoto saiko3p

So there. Please stop asking.