Why Nature Is Legitimately The Most Terrifying Thing Ever
BRB, NEVER GOING OUTSIDE.
You probably think nature is sooooo nice.
Animals living in harmony, birds singing, breeze breezing, you know the drill.
First things first. We all know sharks are terrifying, blah blah blah. But have you ever seen a goblin shark in action?
What about this sucker here? This is a squid. This is a squid that's angry at you. Why? Doesn't matter. IT'S ANGRY.
Look at these things. They're lampreys. They're lampreys and their sole reason for existing is to terrify you.
This is the Atlantic wolfish. It will eat you and everyone you love.
Want some Doritos?! GO AHEAD! Just say hello to these friendly isopods:
"OK, but frogs aren't scary, right? RIGHT?" WRONG, SUCKER. Check out this guy here:
What about this thing here? Do you know what this is? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT DOES???
Oh, so you think cows are safe? That's cool, man. That's real cool. THINK AGAIN:
I bet you didn't even know this. I bet this never ever crossed your mind:
You know what nature is? It's the stuff of NIGHTMARES. It's the blobfish:
It's the frilled shark:
It's the goddamn hatchetfish:
It's a goddamn school of hatchetfish saying, "Come play with us."
But the things living underwater aren't even the most terrifying part. IT'S THE WATER ITSELF.
You're not terrified of snakes are you? Oh, wait, you are? You are because literally everyone is? Oh, well don't look at this:
You think kangaroos are cute and cuddly? You think a kangaroo won't hesitate to END YOU?! LOOK AT THIS SPECIMEN:
"OH! But what about koalas! Cute, cuddly koalas, right?" WRONG, NUMBSKULL:
YOU THINK YOU KNOW TRUE TERROR? YOU THINK YOU KNOW FEAR? WELL, THINK AGAIN. CHECK OUT THIS EEL:
"Oh, but plants are safe, right?" HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?!
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SO TERRIFIED OF A PLANT?! OF A PLAAAAAAAANT?!
Even trees won't hesitate to DESTROY YOU:
AND IF YOU THINK YOU'RE SAFE INSIDE, THINK AGAIN:
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