Let's play a game of...
Be 4'5"?Be 7'7"?
You want to be 7'7"!
Duh! Guess what? You're now in the NBA! Or maybe you're just a person who's really good at picking apples off of trees!
Have legs as long as your fingers?Have fingers as long as your legs?
You want fingers as long as your legs!
Duh! You will now win EVERY fight.
Be able to run at 100 miles per hour?Or fly at 10 miles per hour?
You want to fly!
Come on, now. You always have to choose flying. Running is for squares, anyway.
Sweat mayo?Or have to poop a softball?
Gotta go with the softball.
One and done!
Talk like Jar Jar Binks? (You are not allowed to kill yourself.)Or look like Jar Jar Binks? (You are not allowed to kill yourself.)
Definitely talk like Jar Jar Binks!
Just never speak, ever. Except for when you start a massively popular reggae band.
Have a dragon?Or be a dragon?
Have a dragon!
Come on, life would be so lonely if you were the only dragon. You need some dragon companions if you're gonna be a dragon.
Be sexually attracted to fruit?Or have Cheetos dust permanently stuck on your fingers?
Trick question. Cheetos dust is actually a perk.
Everybody wins with a little Cheetos dust on their fingers. Also, let's be honest: Fruit is kinda gross.
Never have to worry about money?Or live in a world with Pokemon?
How are you going to pretend like this hasn't always been your dream? Plot twist: You can only speak in Celine Dion lyrics. Sorry!
Be the BEST racquetball player in the world?Or find $65 on the street?
Take the money!
Guess what? You can now buy a decent clock radio!
Speak any language fluently?Or be able to talk to animals?
Definitely be able to talk to animals!
Guess what, chump? HUMANS ARE ANIMALS! LOOOOOPHOLE!
Not have sex with a goat, and have everyone think you had sex with a goat?Or have sex with a goat, but no one will ever find out?
Either way you're a goatfucker, goatfucker.
And maybe you'll enjoy it? Hey, as long as everyone's havin' a good time.
Only be able to whisper?Or only be able to shout?
No one should yell. Ever.
Eat a pinecone?Or poop a pinecone?
I've never eaten a pinecone, have you? Could be delicious!
Change gender every time you sneeze?Or not be able to tell the difference between a muffin and a baby?
You just say "No, thanks, I'm trying to cut back," any time you're presented with either.
Watch your parents have sex every day of your life?Or join in once to stop it?
Just kidding! Both these answers are terrible.
Sorry you had to think about it.
Various WYR from Reddit, and elsewhere on the internet.