1. Find someone who looks at you the way this kid looks at ketchup:
2. Someone who looks at you the way Leo looks at Girl Scout Cookies:
3. And the way Oprah looks at a loaf of bread:
4. Find someone who looks at you the way this cat looks at bacon:
5. Someone who looks at you like Charles Barkley looks at pizza:
6. And looks at you like this little girl looks at that monstrous bun:
7. Find someone who looks at you like Biden looks at Obama:
"I want someone to look at me the way Joe Biden looks at Obama."
8. Like a dog looks at a hot dog:
9. And someone who looks at you like this girl looks at a literal rock:
10. Find someone who looks at you like Shia looks at his movies:
11. Like this girl looks at a tomato:
12. Or like women in commercials look at yogurt:
Just looking for someone to look at me the way women in commercials look at yogurt
13. Find someone who looks at you like a dog looks at pizza:
14. Or like a CAT looks at pizza:
15. Or, hell, like a human looks at pizza:
16. Find someone who looks at you like this rando girl looks at a rando Pop-Tart box:
17. Or this rando dude looks at a rando loaf of bread:
18. Or how this kid looks at a gummy bear:
19. Find someone who looks at you like a cat looks at a ravioli:
20. Like a raccoon looks at its best friend:
21. Or like Trudeau looks at Obama:
22. But, most importantly, find someone who looks at you like a cyberwoman looks at corn:
