“How did he just fit all of that into his mouth?”
“I’m pretty sure he just accidentally ate his other earring.”
“Why does his hair look like you can just snap it off?”
“What is this hell-beast?”
“His hair looks like shaved ice.”
“He just drank that entire bottle of sauce.”
“I have no idea who this man is.”
“I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.”
“I am so scared.”
“My hat is red.”
“I can’t tell if his goatee is dyed that way, or if he just has some day-old mustard in there.”
“If I keep smiling, he won’t hurt me.”
Your laughter can’t hide your fear, friend.
“Why does he always look like he’s whistling while he eats?”
“I think he just ate part of my fork.”
“Maybe if I pretend to sleep he’ll get tired and go away.”
“Even my fedora can’t save me now.”
- Churches across the US are prepping an underground railroad system for immigrants who fear deportation under Trump.
- Tom Perez has been named chair of the Democratic National Committee. He was Obama's Labor Secretary.
- At a rally in NYC, trans New Yorkers asked for support from the broader LGBT community — something they haven't always gotten.
- Barack Obama took Malia to see a Broadway show and everyone is talking about how refreshed he's looking 😎