“How did he just fit all of that into his mouth?”
“I’m pretty sure he just accidentally ate his other earring.”
“Why does his hair look like you can just snap it off?”
“What is this hell-beast?”
“His hair looks like shaved ice.”
“He just drank that entire bottle of sauce.”
“I have no idea who this man is.”
“I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.”
“I am so scared.”
“My hat is red.”
“I can’t tell if his goatee is dyed that way, or if he just has some day-old mustard in there.”
“If I keep smiling, he won’t hurt me.”
Your laughter can’t hide your fear, friend.
“Why does he always look like he’s whistling while he eats?”
“I think he just ate part of my fork.”
“Maybe if I pretend to sleep he’ll get tired and go away.”
“Even my fedora can’t save me now.”
- At least 11 people are dead and 69 hurt after explosions outside a stadium in Turkey, the country's health ministry says.
- Trump will reportedly pick ExxonMobil's CEO Rex Tillerson as secretary of state. He has a long history of oil deals with Russia.
- Gen. David Petraeus helped block the autopsy of an Afghan man who died mysteriously in US custody, emails show.
- People are in love with a dog who rides around in a decked out dog car spreading Christmas cheer to hospital patients 🐶🎄