“How did he just fit all of that into his mouth?”
“I’m pretty sure he just accidentally ate his other earring.”
“Why does his hair look like you can just snap it off?”
“What is this hell-beast?”
“His hair looks like shaved ice.”
“He just drank that entire bottle of sauce.”
“I have no idea who this man is.”
“I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.”
“I am so scared.”
“My hat is red.”
“I can’t tell if his goatee is dyed that way, or if he just has some day-old mustard in there.”
“If I keep smiling, he won’t hurt me.”
Your laughter can’t hide your fear, friend.
“Why does he always look like he’s whistling while he eats?”
“I think he just ate part of my fork.”
“Maybe if I pretend to sleep he’ll get tired and go away.”
“Even my fedora can’t save me now.”
- The Trump administration is reportedly considering a set of policies to prosecute parents who illegally enter the US with their children.
- Norma McCorvey, the woman behind the landmark 1973 Supreme Court case, Roe v. Wade, has died in Texas at 69.
- Mark Sanford held a town hall on Saturday that he organized with Indivisible, a group dedicated to holding members of Congress' feet to the fire.
- Donald Glover has been cast as Simba in Disney's remake of "The Lion King."