1. Hey, at least you still have your ice cream:
2. And your cooking tray:
3. And...your forehead:
4. I mean, look on the bright side: You still have your toilet...
5. Your grapes are still intact:
6. And you don't look like a big ol' donut:
7. There aren't any statues about to fall on you:
8. You didn't send this email:
9. And you and your dentist didn't get a liiiittle too close:
10. Never forget that you aren't this person:
11. Or this person:
12. And never forget that you aren't mortal enemies with a wedding photographer:
OK SO DID I DO SOMETHING TO OFFEND THE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER?
13. And, hey, this isn't your doll:
14. And you aren't sleeping in a cornbed tonight:
15. And, thankfully, you're not Taiwan Jones:
16. If all else fails, just say to yourself, At least my family didn't put me on a mug:
17. And at least I didn't almost accidentally kill everyone today:
18. And, thankfully, I didn't invent a whole new form of texting:
19. Finally, if you're still not feeling better, just remember that you didn't Tinder match a relative:
20. And Dave still loves you:
21. And, finally, never forget: At least you're not Dennis.
