2005 was a simple time. A time of Live Strong bracelets, that one pink Razr phone, and good-ass Nickelodeon shows:
But it wasn't all wholesome, relaxing entertainment. We could only watch Zoey find herself at PCA and Danny do his phantom thing for so long before being hit with the terrifying, the gruesome, the OBSCENE Mr. Meaty:
THE SHOW THAT HAUNTED YOUR CHILDHOOD.
The 'net is full of people traumatized by Mr. Meaty:
Lit'rally filled to the top o' the brim:
And now I'm here to remind you alllllll about it.
First, let's talk about how terrifying these damn puppets are. Josh looks like the ghost of a prolapsed anus.
And remember Parker and Josh's boss? Like, holy shit. This thing looks like one of the Sour Patch Kids fell into a vat of ass. Or acid. Some ass-id.
But enough about how the puppets look. Let's talk about some of the show's episodes.
There was the episode where Parker's nude-ass puppet ass is about to be eaten alive by cannibals.
And the episode where a goth girl EATS a fried hand.
Of course, there was the episode with a girlfriend made out of meat.
The episode where a girl's nose FALLS OFF and is replaced by a hunk of raw meat.
There was the episode where this???? happened???
And, of course, there was Wedgelor.
But that's not why I've gathered you here today. We need to talk about the episode that scarred us all the most.
We need to talk about the tapeworm episode.
It starts with a puppet eating raw meat. It ends in a generation of terrified children.
You remember: this is how his puppet-ass mouth looked while a tapeworm ate all his food.
Remember when you first saw this abomination comin' out of those puppet lips? LOOK AT THIS THING.
LOOK AT IT.
A puppet sticks a puppet fishing pole down another puppet's puppet throat to fish out a GIANT PUPPET WORM.
THIS IS HORRIFYING.
I mean, holy shit. Praise be to this holy shit.
And then they finally remove the worm and some Crocodile Hunter-ass puppet-ass dude comes in and eats the worm.