Skip To Content
  • lol badge

20 Animals That DEFINITELY Don't Look Like Big Fat Juicy Penises

Nope, nothing to see here.

1. This rat definitely doesn't look like a thick, THICK, flaccid penis:

2. The cut finger looks IN NO WAY like a friendly little choade:

3. This rooster totally doesn't look like a big dick with simply enormous testicles:

4. This sea worm? Doesn't looks like a fat, juicy penis at all:

Peculiar group of sea creatures found in deep Australian abyss

5. This starfish couldn't look LESS like five sopping wet, salt water dwelling penises:

6. This newborn puppy DOES NOT look like a thick, juicy flapdoodle:

7. This cat looks nothing like an adorable l'il dong:

8. This snake looks like the exact opposite of a size-able slippery schlong:

9. This caterpillar 100% does not look like a puffy pink knob:

10. This tortoise DOES NOT look like it's someone just going to TOWN on their hog:

11. This guy's head is the LAST thing that looks like a big fat one-eyed monster:

12. This elephant's trunk couldn't look less like a fat ol' pork sword:

13. These clams look like the FARTHEST thing from a big, creamy tally-whacker:

14. This dog's ear DOES NOT look like that man's one-eyed purple headed yogurt slinger. I REPEAT: IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A MAN'S ONE-EYED PURPLE HEADED YOGURT SLINGER!

15. This dog look nothing like a quaint furry skin flute:

16. This person's arm does NOT look like a giant, fat cock:

17. This caterpillar? Well, it looks nothing like a big ol' jiggle stick:

hawk moth caterpillar

18. This dog doesn't look like a nice little ding-a-ling at ALL:

19. These sea cucumbers definitely don't look like they're having the first annual gathering of the Gargantuan Johnson Association (the GJA):

20. And, finally, this spoon worm DOES NOT look like the world's wiggliest weiner: