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25 Completely Scientific Reasons Why Women Live Longer Than Men

Might as well just get it over with and ban men.

1. Because of stuff like this:

2. And this:

3. Because most men have no idea how to get from point A to point B:

4. Or how to get dressed in the morning:

5. Because 8 out of 10 men have no idea how escalators work:

Make that 9 out of 10:

6. Or how pools work:

7. Because men can't even beat inanimate objects in a fight:

8. And they certainly cannot be trusted to wake up in the morning:

9. Because they easily fall for tricks and traps:


10. And, contrary to nobody's belief, do not have magical powers:

11. Because it's wildly recognized that most of their test scores look something like this:

12. And most of their scientific experiments looks like this:

13. Because they often don't even realize they're doing something that might be dangerous:

14. Or when something dangerous is right in front of them:

15. Because they can't be trusted, even in trust falls:

16. Or with vacuum cleaners:

17. Or with tires:


18. Or with ATVs:

19. Or with food:

20. Or with beards:

21. Because to them, simple household tasks are matters of life and death:

22. Especially if it involves ladders:

23. Even something as simple as moving a couch becomes a deadly activity:

24. And don't even get them started with ramps. Once you give a man a ramp, it's game over. He's done.

25. And if you add a crane to the mix? Just start etchin' up that headstone right now:

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