25 Reasons Why Babies Are Basically Just Tiny Drunk People

Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk.

1. It’s almost impossible for them to take a “nice” picture:

2. So they always look like this:

3. They have no idea what’s going on around them:

4. And even the simplest task becomes a huge ordeal:


5. They always have a lot of trouble in the bathroom:

6. And they’re always tripping over invisible stuff:

7. They’ll fall asleep anytime, anywhere:

9. And they do strange things when they’re sleeping:

10. Sitting down is an Olympic sport for them:

11. But if they’re still standing, chances are they’re standing like this:

12. I mean, they’re always messing up the easiest activities, like putting on clothes:

13. And they seem to have trouble fixing even the simplest of problems, like trying to eat a cookie with floaties on:


14. They always get ridiculously excited over food:

15. They don’t deal well with surprises:


16. Not to mention they’re always hurting themselves:

17. And getting in other people’s way:

18. They always need someone else to tell them what they’re doing is annoying:

19. And they always spend way too much time looking at themselves in the mirror:

20. They have terrible motor skills:

21. …Which always leads them to end up in situations they immediately regret:

22. And to them getting stuck in the strangest places:

23. Or, you know, trapped:

24. When you try to talk to them they look a lot like this:

25. And their mood changes at the drop of a pin:


But, most importantly, they have the exact same reaction to pizza as drunk people:


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