1. This baby won't stop talking about how much milk cost back in his day:
2. This baby has had his left turn signal on for the last 30 miles:
3. This baby just yelled at you to "turn it back" because he was still "watchin' it":
4. This baby can't drink milk anymore because of what it does to "the pipes":
5. This baby hasn't been the same since the Teapot-Dome Scandal:
6. The baby was a stunt double for Kevin from "The Office":
7. This baby just spent 45 minutes telling you a story about the "nice lady from the grocery store":
8. All of this baby's furniture is covered in plastic wrap:
9. This baby just saw you try to change the temperature on the thermostat:
10. This baby may or may not be Robert DeNiro:
11. This baby gets a senior discount from Babys 'R' Us:
12. This baby came out of the womb with a seemingly endless supply of Werther's Originals:
13. This baby just heard someone say something mean about Vice President John Nance Garner, and, honestly, is a bit peeved:
14. This baby won't stop talking about last night's episode of Perry Mason:
15. This baby is still holding onto a receipt for a $4.08 purchase of canned ham from 1978 "just in case":
16. This baby just yelled at some kids to get off her lawn and doesn't even know what a lawn is:
17. This baby just referred to Vietnam as "French Indochina":
18. This baby won’t stop explaining the intricacies of cribbage to me:
19. This baby is Danny DeVito. Like, seriously. Have you ever seen this baby and Danny DeVito in the same room?
Check out more old babies over at, funny enough, R/OldBabies.