30 Shirts You Probably Shouldn't Wear

And by "probably," I mean "definitely."

1. EX-Masturbator

Via huffingtonpost.com

There are other ways to show you've found Jesus.

2. I Shaved My Balls For This?

Via blogger.com

Don't worry, you'll be extra popular with the other inmates.

3. Problem Solved

Via rlv.zcache.com

Calm down, Chris Brown.

4. Licensed Orangutan Rapist

buzzfeed.com

Yes, I know it really says therapist. But you can never be too carful when it comes to the possibility of looking like an animal rapist.

5. Boston Massacre

Via djbobbytrends.com

This Nike shirt was going for $150,000 on eBay before it was pulled. What is wrong with people?

6. Gold Digging

Via static04-sg.zalora.com

Wow, Nike is just on a roll.

7. I Heart Midget Porn

Via totallytop10.com

As true as this may be, you should probably keep it to yourself.

8. “Period Power” Tee

Via ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com

American Apparel you so get me, I've always wanted to wear a bloody vagina on my chest. Said no one ever. (Except, maybe, the guy who loves midget porn.)

9. I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.

Via geekshirts.cz

I'm not interested. You're an asshole. Go f**k yourself.

10. "Eat Less" by Urban Outfitters

Via fashionbombdaily.com

Well, the brand does cater to "upscale homeless" people so this kind of makes sense. Just kidding, it's appalling and UO should be ashamed.

11. Trust Me! I'm A Police Officer

Via proprintwear.com

Yeah ... I don't think that saying works in this situation. I mean, does anyone really trust police officers?

12. Support Your Local Hooker

Via ebay.com

That fish isn't fooling anyone.

13. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Via thechive.com

Again, not fooling anyone.

14. I'd Do Me

Via thechive.com

Really? I find that a little hard to believe.

15. I Was Lubed Up

Via thechive.com

EW.

16. #$@$#@%$#

Via blogger.com

I hope she wasn't traveling to America in that shirt...

17. I'm A Virgin (But this is an old shirt)

Via aaanything.net

Is it though?

18. Who Needs Brains When You Have These?

Via wordpress.com

Your parents must be so proud.

19. "New Twerk City" by Urban Outfitters

Via urbanoutfitters.com

Please, make it stop.

20. Don't Bother I'm Not Drunk Yet

Via jokideo.com

WARNING: This shirt leads to teenage pregnancy.

21. Enjoy Vagina

Via lobshots.com

So does this one.

22. How To Catch An Illegal Immigrant

Via aaronallen.com

Oh, I get it! You're a racist.

23. # more boyfriends than t.s.

Via teen.com

I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that Abercrombie came up with this shirt or that they discontinued it because Taylor Swift fans sent them angry tweets.

24. Obama Is My Slave

Via daveyd.com

Do you want everyone to hate you?

25. I Pooped Today!

Via roadkilltshirts.com

I'm happy you don't suffer from constipation?

26. Straight Pride

Via sdgln.com

There is no pride in ignorance. Also, you're like 10. Who do you need to prove your sexuality to?

27. Get On My Level

Via nrml.ca

I'd rather not.

28. W.I.F.E

Via graphics20.com

Thanks for feeding that stereotype.

29. I Came ...

Via buzzfeed.com

It doesn't even matter what the rest of the shirt says ... you've already made a fool of yourself.

30. And finally, "I F**k On The First Date"

Via thehollywoodscandal.com

This kid is awesome and deserves to win at life.