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My First Father's Day Without Him

Musings from a grieving daughter.

I can't quite imagine anything more emotionally taxing on an already grieving young adult than the constant reminder of the first Father's Day you will spend without him. I feel like Father's Day is similar to major holidays: signs, cards, billboards, decorations, and e-mail specials with gift ideas are sent out over a month ahead of time, ensuring no holiday goes uncelebrated, no father without a Father's Day card.

Will I really be without him, though? Sure, he's not physically here with me anymore, but I will carry on like I do any other day, embodying his spirit and memory. He encompassed what it meant to be a father. I never doubted how proud he was of me; he told me all the time. I never once questioned how much he loved me; he not only told me, he showed me. It will be a wonderful day to remember his stories with hidden lessons, special family moments, and funny Frank-isms (my two personal favorites: "Better than a sharp stick in your eye" and "Cash is king").

As much as I wanted to run and hide from June 21, 2015, I plan to embrace it, not only for myself, but for him. He deserves it.

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