Even though none of us should be booking cruises at the moment, there's no reason why we can't reminisce about some of the wild times we've had at sea.
Here are some tales from the trenches, aka cruise lines:
1. The loophole:
I still feel guilty about this one time on a cruise I dared @josephine056 to kiss a boy during truth or dare and she was so mad at me bc she had a bf and I said “It’s not cheating in international waters”, we were 12 and I was a scumbag ugh lol
2. The pen:
One time on a cruise, I bought a $60 pen filled w Swarovski crystals and 10 minutes later I tripped and fell and the pen went overboard 🙂
3. The bikini:
that one time on my cruise when I had to wash my hands next to a lady wearing 1/2 her bikini bc she was washing her bottoms in the sink
4. The orgasm:
One time on a cruise there was an “adult scavenger hunt” and I had to fake an orgasm in front of an entire room full of people or our team would lose so I did and idk it just... haunts me
5. The proud Americans:
Just remembering the time when I was on a cruise and at the cruise talent show a brother and sister sang “I’m Proud to be an American” and they both started sobbing while singing
6. The comedian:
@MarianKeyes Comedian at start of his show on last cruise I was on: ‘I want to thank you for enduring a 45-minute break from eating to come see me instead’. 😂
7. The translator:
Got drunk with my family at the dinner table and they felt the need to remind me about the time I was on a cruise and fell for a French girl so I got a translator to help me talk to her but then the translator swung in and they got together
8. The pepper:
I’m on a cruise and some girl at the table next to me goes “when I’m bored I just snort pepper”. Where is your fucking mother
9. The pizza:
@GordonRamsay cheese pizza on my cruise 😂
10. The bad joke:
I went on a cruise once and there was a guy walking around telling everyone "we're all in the same boat". I threw him overboard.
11. The kiddie pool:
Update; been on this cruise for 2 days, supposedly I got escorted to my room via wheelchair bc I got too hammered and puked in the kiddie pool
12. The icing:
I airdrop iced a girl on this cruise and she airdropped me back
13. The American sauce:
Thinking about that one time on a cruise ketchup was labeled “American sauce” 😂🤣 https://t.co/gcG2Nwisnr
14. The geography slip-up:
One time on a cruise, a drunk girl yelled at the top of her lungs “Florida is the WORST country in the WORLD”
15. The 12-page joke:
one time when i was on a cruise an old man came up to my dinner table and read to me a 12 page long joke he had printed out from his email. it was in size 26 font and had clip of a donkey laughing on it.
16. The Poo-Pourri:
one time when i was on a cruise with my mimi she was raving about whoever’s hairspray was in the bathroom and we were like uhh didn’t bring any and it turns out she was using Poo-Pourri as hairspray. apparently it has great hold if anyone gets desperate.