1. When you go to the airport you run into all kinds of mystical creatures.
to the woman who took a bite out of her chapstick in the airport security line: why you did that
2. It's a magical place filled with illusions.
Most F'd up sticker at an airport EVER! I hate...everybody
3. Lots and lots of illusions.
I have no evidence that it’s possible to arrive at an airport anywhere other than the farthest gate out. I see people at other gates but at this point just assume they’re paid actors.
4. For example, children become adults.
i’m at the airport at 5 in the morning and i look over and an 8yr old girl is staring at my headphone wires while her and her younger brother have airpods. it is way too early for this shit
5. And adults become children.
I’m at the airport beside this old couple. He turned to his wife. Man: ‘’Do you see these?’’ Woman: ‘’Those what?’’ Man: ‘’Deez NUTS’’ and then proceeded to wildly dab on her. I aspire to be them when i’m old.
6. Items disappear and reappear out of thin air.
Airport security lost my shoe...(for 25 minutes)
7. Nothing goes to waste.
I’m at the airport and my mum forgot to check in her cream, instead of allowing them to throw it away, she started creaming her whole body😂😂😭😭
8. Everyone speaks their truth.
The announcer at my gate goes.... “there is no smoking in the terminal or in the cabin, unless you’re me, smoking hot.”
9. Like really, they hold nothing back.
doing my makeup in the airport bathroom and this woman is straight up moaning while taking a shit lmfao i’m trying so hard not to laugh
10. There are meditative spaces to collect one's thoughts.
The most zen place in the airport is the “get your shit together” bench after going through security
11. Because a lot of people's thoughts really need collecting.
someone in the airport just shouted at me they they “love Mean Girls!” This is the shirt I’m wearing.
12. People dress to impress.
I hate using a whole good shirt just to go to the airport.
13. The food is irresistible.
I fuckin hate the airport. Got me eating them parfaits and I swore I wouldn’t but I’m starving
14. For every hero there's a villain.
I am working at the airport and a man just came up to me and said he was so impressed with my speedy typing that I'd have a job if I ever wanted to be his secretary. I politely informed him that if he ever wanted to be mine, he'd already failed the interview.
15. Sometimes they come in packs.
"Outlet bullies" - People in airports who casually sit by outlets without using them, blocking you from plugging in and charging up.
16. Of course, the airport isn't all rainbows and butterflies.
I think when I finally die and go to hell its just going to be a constant loop of waiting in the airport security line hungover
17. But for the most part, it's pretty much paradise.
I swear to god I could shower right before going to the airport and put on 8 pounds of deodorant and still somehow smell like a week old raccoon corpse found at the old team 10 house