1. The Guardian live blog would stop beating around the proverbial privet.

Tom Phillips / BuzzFeed
2. And the print edition would follow suit.

Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed
3. The Mirror's website would lash out in rage and confusion.

Tom Phillips / BuzzFeed
4. And the New Statesman would be inconsolable.

Hannah Jewell / BuzzFeed / The New Statesman
5. The lack of Balls would also hurt The Independent.

Tom Phillips / BuzzFeed / The Independent
6. The BBC would tell it like it is.

Tom Phillips / BuzzFeed / BBC
7. By mid-morning the Guardian live-bloggers would have lost the will to live.

Hannah Jewell / BuzzFeed / The Guardian
8. The Mirror would be printing a new edition hourly. At 2am there would be anger.

Hannah Jewell / BuzzFeed / Mirror
9. At 3am, despair.

Hannah Jewell / BuzzFeed / Mirror
10. At 8am, anger again.

Hannah Jewell / BuzzFeed / Mirror
11. By 10am, there would be no words.

Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed / Mirror
12. And by midday, they'd be drinking heavily and slowly resigning themselves to the nightmarish hellscape of a Conservative majority.

Hannah Jewell / Thinkstock / BuzzFeed / Mirror
13. And The Sun, well...

Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed / The Sun