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62 Thoughts Everyone Has While Shopping At Superstore

Or Atlantic Superstore. Or Loblaws. Or Galen Weston's empire.

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1. 🎶Parking, parking parking spot, wh-h-ee-rr-ee is my parking spot?🎶

2. I regret everything. I should never have come here on a Saturday.

3. Shit! Do I have a loonie for the cart?

4. This is a monstrously humongous cart. Do they think the Duggars shop here?

5. This is a trick, isn't it!? I'll put more stuff in my cart to fill up its vast expanse. Well played, Weston, well played.

6. Coupons by the entrance! Oooo, $2 off Garnier Fructis!

7. OK, what's my strategy? Stick to the perimetre.

8. I came for groceries. JUST GROCERIES.

9. Oh, OK. And toothpaste.

10. I should probably get a new toothbrush while I'm here. It'll be cheaper than Shoppers.

11. I've always wanted an electric toothbrush!

~ If you have kids ~

12. Oh look, diapers. We always need diapers.

13. So that's one box of Pampers Cruisers for day wear and one box of Pampers Baby-Dry for night wear.

14. Now I'll just take a quick peek down this aisle...

15. *Tosses organic oatmeal, five Baby Gourmet packets, and 2 cans of peach-flavoured puff snacks in the cart.*

16. President's Choice fruit squeezies are 5 for $5! I'll get 10!


18. Look at these little toques! Only $10. I'm getting one.

19. The baby needs fuzzy pajamas for winter, and these ones have hockey sticks all over them. CU-UTE.

20. OK, OK, I'll head back towards the food aisles.

21. BUT I should swing by the kids' clothes section too. They might have a sale.

22. Silver sparkle Ugg-type boots! MY DAUGHTER WILL LOVE THESE.

23. You know, I could really use a new muffin tin.

24. President's Choice makes its own slowcookers?!

25. And they're $25 cheaper than Crockpot?!! I should get one for my mom for Christmas.

26. Wow, my ginormous cart is pretty full and yet I've got NO FOOD IN IT.

27. Alright, vegetables. Let's get down to business.

28. Why do people bring their elderly grandparents on family shopping trips? And why are those elderly grandparents always standing in front of the bananas I want to get to?

29. Eggplant. I don't see any eggplant.

30. I should ask someone. *Scans crowd for red-vested employee to no avail.*

31. *Goes into next aisle, still looking for employee.*

32. *Turns cart around and winds up back in the kids' clothing section, still searching for employee.*

33. *Lets out exasperated huff. Turns back to produce section. Still no employee in sight.*

34. I don't really need eggplant for Eggplant Parmesan anyway, right?

35. Babybells are $10!!! I can actually afford to buy these here.

36. I'm going to get these PC hamburgers with the picture of the nice farming couple on them. It looks like I'd trust them to make my meat products.

37. Get in my cart, you industrial-sized flat of chicken legs.

38. Eggs! Milk! Yogurt! Butter! Done! Done! Done and done!

39. No Name skin-on french fries are the best french fries.

40. Treat time! PC ice cream parlour flavours, here I come!


42. I'm going with Cinnamon Bun. THAT'S RIGHT. CINNAMON BUN ICE CREAM.

43. Do I need toilet paper? I should probably get this club pack while I'm here.

44. *Totters giant package of toilet paper on top of everything else in cart.*

45. I LOVE the international aisles. I'm going to make a wicked curry this week.

46. Coconut milk, curry paste, noodles. Also, I think it's about time we try one of these spongy mango desserts.

47. OMG I've been here for an hour.

48. OK, I'm going to finish up quick. Focus. Focus. Focus...

49. I'll just zip down all the aisles to make sure I don't miss anything.

50. OMFG why are there SO MANY aisles?

51. 🎶Making a list, checking it twice.🎶 Got everything! Win.


53. At least I can catch up on celebrity gossip. Is Kate Middleton having another baby?

54. *Tries not to judge the contents of other peoples' carts.*

55. How many bags do I want? Um let me just test out my psychic powers here.

56. Idk, 10?

57. Having to bag your own groceries is the absolute worst.

58. Woah, lady, relax! My actual body is in the way of you getting your cart down this checkout lane.

59. You know what makes packing your own groceries even more fun? The silently angry stares of all the people in line behind you.

60. "OK, that'll be $10,545,465,225,456,465,767.65."

61. *Dies*

62. I guess I shouldn't have gotten the slow cooker.