Masterchef Ratings Fall Again

Channel Ten’s reality cooking show fails to arrest the ratings slide. It dropped thirty thousand viewers on its second night, 87,000 down by Wednesday.

Obviously Masterchef is on.

When I checked the ratings website this morning I was fucking ecstatic to see that Masterchef's ratings had dropped again.

We all love being right, but in this case I was more than happy to be so.

So what's the problem?

Many will say Charlie, you are devoting far to much time for this, why don't you meditate and think beautiful thoughts?

Well, generally I do, but one of the times I most like to think beautiful thoughts is during my favourite TV programs.

On Ten, for me, that means, Modern Family, The Simpsons and Futurama.

However, my enjoyment of these brilliantly written, witty shows, is currently being sharply spiked by the fucking promos that fucking channel Ten put in the fucking corner of the fucking screen, for the whole time that 'my' show is on.

I have tried to ignore it, but have been unsuccessful.

My eye keeps getting drawn to the corner of the screen and I am filled with an unholy fucking rage at Ten's insistence that I know that their damn RTV show is going to be on later that night.

Now if this promo was for a show that I consider mildly possible that I may watch, then it would be less intrusive,

However, they will be holding the Winter Olympics on the South Slopes of Hell, before I watch Masterchef.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not being elitist here.

I'm not being holier than thou.

Some watch Masterchef, though less each night, and presumably enjoy it.

That's fine, I think we all agree though that destroying the pleasure of viewers on a completely other show is just not on.

For the record,

Matserchef had 874,000 viewers on opening night.

The next night 27,000 viewers had dropped away, and then on the third night, a full 87,000 viewers had stopped watching and were getting their viewing pleasure elsewhere.

Mostly 'elsewhere' meant another channel.

I have tried to get Ten to understand that by putting these promos on the screen they just make themselves look desperate.

Never a good look for a television company, but they just refuse to listen.

Furthermore, I can just, but only just, see the the logic of putting promos for Masterchef on Modern Family.

However, as I've said to the execubots at Channel Fucking Ten on numerous occasions, the people who watch Mod Fam do not watch reality TV.

They certainly don't watch something that is an affront to intelligence like Masterchef.

So I struggle to even understand that, I tried to tell them put the promos on another show for idiots, like Offspring, for example, and you get a better demographic crossover.

But even this most tenuous of logics fell away to levels of ridiculousness on Saturday night when I went to watch David Attenborough's LIfe in the Undergrowth.

To my utter, utter, horror, and rage, channel Fucking Ten put promos for fucking Masterchef on this masterpiece of wildlife cinematography.

For fuck's sake channel Ten, a microscopic percentage of people who watch The Simpsons may watch Masterchef, but, no one, not one single viewer who watches David Attenborough would ever, nor has ever, entertained the most fleeting thought of watching reality TV.

So lift your fucking game you fucking arseholes.

Give back our shows, and remove those damn promos.

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