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The Way Asparagus Grows Will Creep You The Fuck Out

Like vegetable zombie fingers crawling out of the ground.


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Some people love it, other people hate it. And, either way, we can all agree that it makes our pee smell.

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  1. But do you know how asparagus grows? Like, honestly, what do you think?

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But do you know how asparagus grows? Like, honestly, what do you think?
    vote votes
    It gets chopped off from a larger plant.
    vote votes
    It grows in bushels.
    vote votes
    It comes straight up out of the ground.
    vote votes
    OMG, I have no idea.

Are you prepared to see the answer? Because, fair warning, it may actually shock you:

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Yeah, it literally just SHOOTS UP from the ground...

Ondhajek / Getty Images

WTF?! little monster fingers REACHING FOR YOUR SOUL.

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Evil incarnate?

And here's a fun time-lapse of the creepiness in action!

Pamlloydvideo / Via

JK, it's very impressive.

Look how tall asparagus can grow if you don't cut it!

Nicko's Kitchen / Via

It's like a tiny asparagus forest.

Although, if you're actually farming asparagus, then obviously you just trim it one-by-one.

@hertsdailymarket / Via

::Whispers:: "Does this explain why it's so damn expensive?"

And it turns out the complex root system basically looks like Baby Groot's head.

Nicko's Kitchen. / Via


Asparagus: nature's little freaky fingers.

Kellymarken / Getty Images

Now, to find some bacon to wrap it in!