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The Way Asparagus Grows Will Creep You The Fuck Out

Like vegetable zombie fingers crawling out of the ground.

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Asparagus.

Clarkandcompany / Getty Images

Some people love it, other people hate it. And, either way, we can all agree that it makes our pee smell.

Avemario / Getty Images
  1. But do you know how asparagus grows? Like, honestly, what do you think?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    It gets chopped off from a larger plant.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    It grows in bushels.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    It comes straight up out of the ground.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    OMG, I have no idea.
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But do you know how asparagus grows? Like, honestly, what do you think?
  1.  
    vote votes
    It gets chopped off from a larger plant.
  2.  
    vote votes
    It grows in bushels.
  3.  
    vote votes
    It comes straight up out of the ground.
  4.  
    vote votes
    OMG, I have no idea.

Are you prepared to see the answer? Because, fair warning, it may actually shock you:

Ondhajek / Getty Images

I KNOW...HUH?!

Yeah, it literally just SHOOTS UP from the ground...

WTF?!
Ondhajek / Getty Images

WTF?!

...like little monster fingers REACHING FOR YOUR SOUL.

Evil incarnate?
Dianazh / Getty Images

Evil incarnate?

And here's a fun time-lapse of the creepiness in action!

Pamlloydvideo / Via youtube.com

JK, it's very impressive.

Look how tall asparagus can grow if you don't cut it!

It's like a tiny asparagus forest.
Nicko's Kitchen / Via youtube.com

It's like a tiny asparagus forest.

Although, if you're actually farming asparagus, then obviously you just trim it one-by-one.

::Whispers:: "Does this explain why it's so damn expensive?"
@hertsdailymarket / Via instagram.com

::Whispers:: "Does this explain why it's so damn expensive?"

And it turns out the complex root system basically looks like Baby Groot's head.

CRA-ZY.
Nicko's Kitchen. / Via youtube.com

CRA-ZY.

Asparagus: nature's little freaky fingers.

Now, to find some bacon to wrap it in!
Kellymarken / Getty Images

Now, to find some bacon to wrap it in!

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