1. That we can orgasm from a few thrusts in our vagina.
2. And apparently we only require minimal foreplay or lube.
3. We ~always~ climax at the exact same time as our partner!!!!!
4. Or climax just from, like, one touch.
5. And we always wear makeup and have curled hair while doing it, too.
6. We can get completely ready for sex in less than three seconds.
7. We wear sexy bras to bed.
8. We don’t sweat, we glisten.
9. We never have wedgies.
10. We wake up and our hair always falls in perfect waves.
11. Our periods are always neat and clean…
12. ...only require, like, one cute tampon…
13. …and SUDDENLY gush out (especially the first time you have it).
14. Giving birth only takes like two huffs and a little push.
15. Our water ALWAYS breaks with a giant, dramatic GUSH before giving birth...
16. ...and we’re usually in public when the water breaks.
17. Wearing heels while running makes sense.
18. In fact, wearing heels on a day-to-day basis is something we do.
19. We wear fabulous magazine-ad-worthy outfits to work.
20. We spend all day at work trying to find a “man” instead of actually working.
21. We all run in cliques at school.
22. We have a perfect face of makeup ALWAYS — even in a post-apocalyptic world.
23. We never like to sleep with someone on a first date.