1.It's not the tat, it's not the necklace, it's not the earring, it's not even that hair...thing. it's the BANGLES.
2.Cons with one tongue? How un-urbane, man.
3.You're still wearing Con sneakers Pffffff...
5.Shut-up, hipster embryo.
6.I know what you're thinking: He's a hippie, not a hipster. Wrong. He's a hippie poseur. Trust me, I've lived in NYC for 27 years and have seen every incantation of the hipster. Plus, look at his jorts style.
7.Note how the subway riders on either side need to give him extra room for his ennui.
8.Note left on a scooter. Wrong, it is exactly because he is a hipster that he can park in the middle of the sidewalk.