Hey, y'all, Caryn and Connie here. Yep, we're twins.
And as such we had one movie in particular that was our can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kinda favorite growing up. So we rewatched Mary-Kate and and Ashley’s knockoff Parent Trap (1961), It Takes Two, for the first time this decade.
1. "Well, fans, it's the bottom of the ninth and bases are loaded." We just quoted the first line of this film together. Did we mention we're twins?
2. Amanda, played by Mary-Kate, is really good at this game they play at her orphanage, but we still don't know what it is. Is it some combo of brooms and baseball? Broomball?
3. OMG. We had MK and Ash's EXACT same haircut.
4. There are a LOT of orphans on screen for this outdoor baseball game. This might actually be the stolen plot of Annie, NOT Parent Trap…
5. No song and dance number, I think we’re in the clear.
6. KIRSTIE ALLEY IS DIANE THE SOCIAL WORKER!!!! She is high-key the best part of this film.
7. Mary-Kate’s Brooklyn accent for Amanda is hilarious.
8. Now Diane, who wants to adopt Amanda, has to take her to another potential family meet up just because she isn't making enough money?? This totally flew over our heads as kids! PAY HER MORE!
9. Do they really name the snake family that wants to adopt Amanda "Butkis" pronounced "butt kiss"? The '90s were not a subtle time.
10. Diane, when asked why she can't just adopt Amanda: "You deserve a mother and a father.” Amanda: “So get a husband.” Amanda is literally our mother.
11. “I know its gotta be that can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kinda stuff right?” For all of you playing the drinking game at home, take a shot!
12. And here comes Ashley as Alyssa Callaway stepping off her own private effing airplane!
13. Hmm...Do you think both Mary-Kate and Ashley performed in this or it's all a big hoax and they are pulling a Lindsay Lohan? Maybe it's just one of them switching back and forth every scene.
14. WAIT ALYSSA HAS SOME KIND OF OLD ENGLISH ACCENT??
15. She sounds like she came off of the Titanic.
16. Honestly, we don’t know which accent is worse.
17. Vincenzo, the butler, is definitely holding the entire Callaway family together.
18. Vincenzo explaining why Alyssa's dad isn't at the airport: "He's preparing for your arrival up at the summer house." Alyssa: “Which summer house?” Multiple summer houses. Sooo relatable.
19. Cut back to the orphanage where Amanda has to be bribed to do anything including going to camp.
20. Connie: Andddd now I see where my love of overalls and backward baseball caps comes from. Amanda is my style icon. I claim Amanda!
21. We could watch a whole movie of Kirstie Alley just adopting kids. We need more Dianes in this world.
22. ~Wide shot of the ginormous Callaway Mansion appears~ Caryn: Wowwww. If this is the second summer home, I can’t imagine what the first looks like. I definitely claim being Alyssa.
23. Speaking of, how did they decide which twin got which part? Probably an accent showdown.
24. Why are there two limousines when they arrive at the mansion? Are we to assume one is just for Alyssa's luggage??
25. Oh my gosh Steve Guttenberg as Roger is so adorable!! Remember when he was such a thing? We miss him.
26. Enter Clarice, AKA the girl Meredith Blake was Xerox copied from.
27. Clarice’s fashion game will forever date this movie in the best way possible.
28. Never trust a person who uses the word “smitten.”
29. It'sssss camp time! Hope Mary-Kate already has her ears pierced…
30. As girls who went to summer camp, we know getting top bunk is highest priority.
31. “Girl, when you gonna get a life?” Carmen is EVERYTHING.
32. Caryn: Never mind, I wanna be Carmen.
33. Back to Roger Callaway who is such a DADDY.
34. This bedroom is every '90s girl's dream except for the lack of Beanie Babies, which is suspicious…
35. AHHH!! Unintentional clown jump scare!
36. Alyssa's accent is magically gone.
37. Annnndddd It’s back. Thank goodness.
38. Roger: "You know I haven't been able to come to this house since Mom passed away." We’re here for strong fathers who show their emotional side.
39. Of course all the kids at the camp think the Callaway Mansion is haunted. Camp Rules 101: Always have some good ghost story lore.
40. Roger’s already proposed to Clarice? Without letting her meet his daughter first? And the wedding is in a month?? Serious points deducted. Roger may be cute, but he is simple.
41. THE FAKE FAINT! Still the best life hack to get out of awkward situations.
42. The campers bet Amanda to sneak into Callaway Mansion to prove there isn't a ghost. Amanda will do anything for money. Saaammeee.
43. Here’s the first time the twins get confused for each other! If we had a dime for every time this has happened to us we'd be as rich as MK and Ash.
44. Can you imagine being dragged into a stranger’s house by a man you don't know and then seeing your face on their wall? We would be freaking out a lot more!
45. These kids left Amanda to die. It is every kid for themselves out here.
46. Why do we know every lyric to “Hippy Hippy Shake”?
47. The twins are finally together! And wearing almost the same outfit... That would never fly for us. Connie: You would have to go change IMMEDIATELY.
48. Mary-Kate and Ashley are soooo cute together! No wonder they made like a hundred of these. Getting to work with your sister and getting paid to do it? Dreams.
49. They accepted the fact that they look alike REAL QUICK. We would still be freaking out.
50. Woah woah woah WOAH. Are we really trying to pull that these two are in NO WAY related?? No secret baby given up or nothing? Just pure coincidence?? There is a darker story at play here.
51. These two made up this plan to switch places and get Roger and Diane together in less than a minute. We need them in our lives to solve all our issues. Mary-Kate and Ashley, switch lives with us!
52. Sure they totes copied the old Parent Trap, but there are a TON of similarities between this movie and the remake Parent Trap.
53. Huh, It Takes Two came out in ’95 and the reboot Parent Trap came out in ’98… Why couldn’t the twins get the rights? Is there a conspiracy theory here?
54. Now Amanda has switched places and is living in the lap of luxury at Alyssa's house, where she almost blows her cover instantly. Our parents really hated that she used the word “pissed” in this movie. Almost a deal-breaker.
55. When they show Alyssa eating the "big, gooey, messy burger,” they try to make these Sloppy Joes look so amazing, but they only succeed in making everyone who watches this scene wanna puke.
56. Mary-Kate’s entrance and dress at Roger and Clarice's engagement party is everything. Puff sleeves were so hip. And those butterfly clips?? Swoon.
57. “All this money and these people eat slugs?” Lololol.
58. Clarice literally just threatened to break this 8-year-old's hands if she embarrassed her while playing her piano solo. Can officially confirm this B is cray.
59. AMANDA DROPS HER SNAIL INTO CLARICE'S GLASS. She is fearless.
60. Love when Amanda pronounces Chopin as Chop-in. Fake it till you make it, baby.
61. “WHOM I ABSOLUTELY ADOREEEEEE.” You are lying to yourself if you don’t quote this with perfect inflection every time.
62. When Roger tucks Amanda into bed, we just wanna melt into puddles!! All she wanted was a room of her own and a father!!
63. “I like having a father.” SOBBINGGGG.
64. Amanda pulling the old "put your gum in your stepmom’s hair" prank. Classic.
65. All twins make excellent matchmakers; it comes in the twin handbook.
66. Roger and Diane are really blasé every time they lose the girls, which is A LOT.
67. Roger looks like a Jane Austen character in this whole movie. We’d ~fall~ for him too.
68. Diane. Roger asked you to check his butt. CHECK HIS BUTT!
69. Their banter is so cute even though there’s a lot of tech talk going on. Can you really invest in air space for cell phones?
70. World Series line! Take another shot!
71. It’s impressive how long Amanda and Alyssa keep this con up. We switched places in 4th grade, and we didn’t even last a couple of hours.
72. Hellooooo, dad butt! I can’t believe Diane missed out on that.
73. ~Diane on the phone getting the run around from social services~ JUST LET DIANE ADOPT THIS GIRL ALREADY!
74. Of course Roger goes to apologize! No mere mortal can withstand the charm of Kirstie Alley in this movie.
75. Roger’s head wound is somehow miraculously healed a day later. Is this what money gets you, or is Diane that good?
76. Roger: "I would like to make it up to you." Diane: "OK, then give me your car." Diane is the queen of comebacks.
77. Roger Callaway totally respects Diane’s “no” when he asks her on a date to that pizza joint. Such a quality man.
78. Food fights are never this fun. This movie really set unrealistic expectations.
79. “Tutti Frutti” is such a freaking cute song, but can we discuss why in the world they never play “It Takes Two” by Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock in this film??? Missed opportunity.
80. Diane and Roger's water date is #Goals.
81. Helllloooo, Clarice. Her spidey senses must have been tingling, she's back early to stop Diane from snatching her man!
82. Clarice gets the worst Ty-over in all of Top Model history.
83. Roger and Diane are just about to kisssssssssssssssssss... *boats fall, twins scream* DANGIT, GIRLS!
84. World Series #3! Drink up!
85. Clarice hatches a plan to move up her wedding to lock Roger down, but it's in the middle of Manhattan in less than a day. We would hate to see that bill!
86. After the botched kiss the girls plan another date. Although, is it a goof that the girls give Roger and Diane two different times to meet up, or are we missing something?
87. Boarding schools are the ultimate threat all movie stepmother’s utilize. We always wanted to go to boarding school. We never understood why every child hated this idea.
88. Diane talking to herself before this date is the most relatable thing ever.
89. Honestly getting confused as your other twin and being put in a situation you can’t handle, is a legitimate fear. Just wait until you are dating, girls. It gets weirder.
90. The Butkis family couldn't even let Amanda finish camp before they came to take her! Diane, go back!! They are stealing your girl!
91. Trash camp counselor: “Should we have laid down in front of the van?” Diane: “I WOULD HAVE!” UGLY CRY.
92. Kirstie Alley deserves an Oscar for this movie.
93. As adopted kids ourselves, we never loved the Butkis storyline since they adopt a bunch of kids just so they have free labor to work their trash (literal and metaphorical) business. It was such a dark take on something that can be so positive.
94. This scene with Amanda proving who she is by showing all her differences is TOO REAL. As twins, you have your list of identity markers memorized.
95. “Identical strangers??” Yeah, Vincenzo, doesn't that seem pretty improbable?
96. Vincenzo wants Diane to go all the way to Staten Island to go get Alyssa? No one can get to Staten Island and back in 90 minutes. This is the most unrealistic part of the film.
97. World Series #4! Shots, shots, shots, shots!
98. DIANE AND ALYSSA’S REUNITING HUG IS SO FULFILLING!!!
99. Can Kirstie Allie adopt us, too?
100. We totally get Amanda's mood at Roger and Clarice's wedding. We were flower girls twice. Not an easy gig.
101. Alyssa at the church: "Aren't you coming?" Diane: "No. I think I'm just gonna wait for Amanda out here." Alyssa: “Diane Barrows get your butt up here this instant!” Yes, Alyssa, take charge!
102. Roger really should have told Clarice about him falling in love with Diane much earlier. No one should be left at the altar. Feeling a little bad for Clarice here.
103. WOOOWWWW she tries to hit Alyssa and Amanda?? We take it all back, this girl gets everything she deserves!
104. Writer: "So this is the part of the movie when we explain why they look alike?"
Other Writers: "Nah, then we couldn’t fit in another baseball metaphor."
105. They are gonna be a real family!!! Get ready to be called the wrong names for the rest of your life, girls.
106. “SO KISS ALREADY!”
107. Oh my Olsen twins, how is this movie still sooooo amazing?!
108. This brought back so many memories of late nights in front of our TV, matching outfits, and crazy twin shenanigans. This movie really gets us.
109. SISTERS FOREVAHHHH!!!
