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1. A pair of socks to make it clear that, NO, MOM, they can't "hit the pause button right now."
2. A tee that'll really turn their holiday Upside Down.
3. A pair of the newest AirPod Pros for the teen who likes to have the latest and greatest Apple gadgets.
4. Nike Kyrie 5s so they can rock some trendy Irving kicks on the court or in the classroom.
5. A Patagonia retro-pile fleece they'll probably just wear straight through to Winter 2020.
6. A buzzy video game for the *cough* 17-year-old+ teens.
7. F in Exams: Complete Failure Edition, which contains all the cringiest and funniest exam answers featured in the four-part series — sure to make any teen who just bombed their exam feel a little bit better about themselves.
8. A NASA hoodie for the space-obsessed teen (or the one who has just been revisiting thank you, next).
9. A Fujifilm Instax Mini 9 Instant Camera to send them on their way to becoming a Brooklyn Beckham.
10. A small Death Star planter you don't have to go to a galaxy far, far away to snatch — just the world wide web, turns out.
11. A pair of plush slippers for the teen who is steadily making their way through 10 seasons of Friends on Netflix.
12. And a 100-question trivia game to put all of their useless niche knowledge to good use.
13. Champion powerblend retro-fleece jogger pants to flaunt their brand loyalty.
14. An IKEA bucket hat if they're a real home goods head...and want the home goods brand on their head.
15. Beats Solo3s for the teen who's looking to move away from wired listening.
16. A classy brass keyring to shadily comment on their track record of getting locked out of the house.
17. A literary insults chart for the bookish student who lives for a brutal Dickens own.
18. A "scary peeper" tapping toy any prankster teen will get tons of mileage out of.
19. A Playstation icons light for the nostalgic-for-a-time-they-never-lived-through teen.
20. A dancing wind sock to accompany them during long study sessions.
21. A smiley-face basketball that'll pair well with their game face on the court.
22. A pack of magnetic putty for the scientific-minded teen who likes to keep his hands busy.
23. A "Pooping Pooches" 2020 calendar, one gift they definitely won't...poop on!
24. A ramen hoodie to seamlessly transition them into college dorm living.
25. A Dollar Shave Starter Kit that'll shave hours off your search for the perfect gift.
26. A Kindle Paperwhite for the well-read teen who is also accident-prone.
27. A Nirvana patch that'll smell like teen spirit. Also probably adhesive material!
28. And just a good ol' Amazon gift card for the very hard-to-please teen that knows his taste better than anyone else.
They're not gonna know what hit em.
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