10 Things You Can't Do At Seminary That You Can At A University

If you've ever attended a two or four year school, this list is for you.

10. Can't Become President

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Running for SGA President can be one of most thrilling moments of a person's college experience, but to become president of a seminary? You've made it fam! However, the chances of that happening are slim to none. But Donald Trump did become president, so there's still hope for us all.

9. No Federal Aid

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Generally speaking most seminaries do not accept federal aid (Stafford loans, pell grants, etc). Not quite sure why but it probably has something to do with the first amendment. Therefore most people have to write support letters or even, dare I say it, get a job. But on the bright side, the seminaries do provide scholarships and other grants to help offset the cost for school.

8. Get Lost

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Campus map? Forget about it! Most seminaries are relatively small, running somewhere around a few hundred to a couple thousand students on campus, so the chances of getting lost reduce dramatically compared to that of a bigger university. Thus with such a small student population, there's no need to build a campus that stretches all the way across Texas.

7. Library Lockdown

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Raise your hand if you've ever pulled an all-nighter? Now keep it raised if it was at a library. Pretty normal right? Not so fast my friend. Contrary to universities, the libraries of seminaries have selected hours. So the chances of pulling an all-nighter here are unlikely unless you can somehow manage to avoid being discovered at the time of closure. Just make sure you put on your invisibility cloak.

6. Open Air Preaching

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And on the 8th day, God gave every school an open air preacher so that they would have the power to condemn everyone to hell. Thankfully there is no need for this at seminary or else students would never go to class and just debate about the doctrines of Calvinism and Arminianism (oh wait, people already do that)

5. Turn Dorm Into Frat House

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An all male dorm? That's pretty much already a frat house. So that means you're already halfway there. All you need now is some big Greek letters, no rules and most importantly No Ragrets.

4. Tailgating

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Well since there are no official sports teams on campus it's hard to justify tailgating for an event. Most tailgates consist of the consumption of alcohol but I know some denominations don't take too kindly to the booze *cough,cough Southern Baptist* so that's a no go. But on the other hand, you could tailgate for something else, such as the birth of a newborn on campus. How exciting!

3. Streaking Through the Quad

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We've all done it. Oh wait, maybe that's just me...Streaking is one of those things that no one will admit to doing until probably sometime after their midlife crisis; presumably so due to the statue of limitations. As a matter of fact, indecent exposure is a punishable offense accompanied by fines or possible imprisonment in most states. So yeaahhh, not only can you not do it, you probably shouldn't.

2. Nighttime Vigilante

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You know what your campus needs? JUSTICE! Sure campus security may get in your way but your city needs a hero. Just think if you were to be vigilante on a university campus, you'd pretty much be glorified hero. So I was leaving the library and I saw this shadowy figure dart from the bushes and track down this car that was speeding. How awesome would it be to witness that or better yet, live it? So just try it sometime. Go out around midnight and walk the campus. Make your dwelling above the skyline where none can see, but in the darkness you will be, waiting for your moment to protect, in order to earn the people's respect.

1. No Raves

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Baptists don't dance. End of story.

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